The Recovering Pharisee

Jonathan: “Hello, my name is Jonathan and I am a recovering Pharisee.”

Group: “Welcome Jonathan”

Jonathan: “It has been an hour since my last harsh judgement again others.”

Group: Gentle applause.

Yes, I am Jonathan and I am a recovering Pharisee. I say recovering because the temptation remains within me. I am afraid I don’t have 12 easy steps to set you free; Pharisees love steps, and lists, and books with all the answers in point form. If you are a Pharisee like me, you have all my love and sympathy. It isn’t easy to see in ourselves, but when we do, there is hope.

One Sabbath Jesus was going through the grain fields, and his disciples began to pick some heads of grain, rub them in their hands and eat the kernels. Some of the Pharisees asked, “Why are you doing what is unlawful on the Sabbath?”

Jesus answered them, “Have you never read what David did when he and his companions were hungry? He entered the house of God, and taking the consecrated bread, he ate what is lawful only for priests to eat. And he also gave some to his companions.” Then Jesus said to them, “The Son of Man is Lord of the Sabbath.”

On another Sabbath he went into the synagogue and was teaching, and a man was there whose right hand was shrivelled. The Pharisees and the teachers of the law were looking for a reason to accuse Jesus, so they watched him closely to see if he would heal on the Sabbath. But Jesus knew what they were thinking and said to the man with the shrivelled hand, “Get up and stand in front of everyone.” So he got up and stood there.

Then Jesus said to them, “I ask you, which is lawful on the Sabbath: to do good or to do evil, to save life or to destroy it?”
He looked around at them all, and then said to the man, “Stretch out your hand.” He did so, and his hand was completely restored. But they were furious and began to discuss with one another what they might do to Jesus.

Luke 6: 1-11

Reading about the Pharisees, their behaviour seems so obvious to us; they cared more about their laws than the people they were called to serve. Looking back at my first reading of this passage, I might describe my feelings as somewhat smug; I couldn’t imagine myself falling into such bad behaviour. I wish I could apologize to those Pharisees for thinking it was so easy and obvious. It was much more subtle than I ever imagined.

Obviously, I didn’t start out as a Pharisee, but I think I was predisposed like a lot of people. In my case, I had a lot of preparation for the job. I had grown up in chaos and had a deep need for order, control, and structure. Abuse and neglect in my family had left me rather hyper responsible, like the fate of the world rested on my shoulders. Becoming a Christian only gave these qualities purpose. I became a protector and defender of the faith.

The error of any Pharisee is the elevation of rules above the needs of people; in this way, the rules become our god. I couldn’t imagine that was what I was doing at the time, but the ink was setting. I read the bible veraciously, trying to divine out all that it meant to be a Christian. I wanted to understand so I wouldn’t make any mistakes; I was afraid of making mistakes. As I read, it wasn’t a great leap to applying these truths to those around me. Everyone was falling short.

Jesus said, “Woe to you experts in the law, because you have taken away the key to knowledge. You yourselves have not entered, and you hindered those who were entering.”

Luke 11:52

If there was a rule, I rested on the side of caution. Smoking, drinking, dancing, skipping church, sex and so on; I had an opinion about everything. Christian were supposed to be better than non-Christians; the radio preachers said so. I was there to point out all the inconsistencies. I became so well versed in the bible, I could talk my way around almost anyone, arguing my points very effectively. Unfortunately, I could also twist the bible to serve my purpose as well, though I didn’t see it that way.

God didn’t seem to intervene enough in the lives of people, so that became my job. It didn’t even occur to me that his actions were deliberate; I just thought he needed me, called me. It was very presumptuous of me. To be honest, Free Will seemed a mistake. I had a great many shouldn’ts and a lot of musts to offer people. I became very accomplished at the art of the argument, emphasis on ‘argue’. I was relentless in trying to convince people they were wrong, that I knew the truth. I had years of hard work ahead of me.

As I said, God didn’t seem to intervene often enough, but eventually he decided to intervene with me. It wasn’t so obvious it was him, but looking back, I think it was him. I had invited a friend to a gospel service; I had been sharing with her about God’s love and forgiveness for months. Out in the parking lot, I asked her what was holding her back from embracing both.

When she described the things she needed to ‘fix’ before she could become a Christian, it came down on me like a ton of bricks. Many of the things she described were on my shouldn’t list.

This was the first I knew I was wr wr wr… wrong. This revelation started me on my journey. I wish I could say it has been a quick journey from there to where I am now, but it has been a struggle of years; my Christian friends have been very patient with me. I had to learn a great deal about myself before I could really give up the full mantle of the Pharisee. As God respected Free Will, I had to learn to respect it as well. I had to become an expert plank remover; it was time to stop wasting time cleaning up the sawdust.

“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”

Matthew 7:1-5

I have a great deal of sympathy for Pharisees. I remember reading about the rest and light burdens Jesus offered the Christian, but the weight of responsibility I felt was overwhelming. If the Christian fails, there is forgiveness; for the Pharisee, there is little forgiveness, mostly fear. If they don’t save the church, who will? Can you imagine? Please love all us Pharisees, even when we are unreasonable, but please don’t give us free reign or we will rule the church we love to death.

We are in every church. We may sit in silence, weighing situations and people. We may be the first to speak up when there is talk of change in policy, procedure or program. When interviewing pastors, we can offer the most challenging and often obscure questions, meant to root out any impostors. We are ever watchful and ready to alert the church to any danger. We know our bibles very well; we talk the talk and walk the walk. We will challenge you to the breaking, but please love us; offer us the grace we often deny ourselves and others.

Jonathan

That’s why I named my blog the Pharisee Killer.

In the brief time I’ve spent reading your posts, thanks for sharing what you share.

nicodemusatnite.blogspot.com

It will important to realize that we are not the captains of our eternal destiny. Our Lord is not at our mercy for any reason. Rather, we are desperately at His mercy. It’s all about Him!

In His power and for His glory,

Dennis Fischer
Lincoln, Nebraska USA
E-mail: dennisfischer@neb.rr.com

R.ecovering A.pple T.reatment and S.upport

or

RATS

: )

Andrew

]Thanks for coming by and sharing your experience

But your story sounds eerily similar to mine. Judgment based on looks and sins, and not at the heart. Oh, how I have so much growing to do.

Thanks for sharing this Kevin!

It might be. Great to hear from you. Tell all my west coast family hello.