Dec 12 2007
recovering pharisee
My name is Kevin and I am a Pharisee. I mentioned in a previous post that I am a recovering Pharisee! I thank God for that! I used to judge people based on their lifestyle, looks, $$, the way they talked and other ways. God has a way of changing you. I used to condemn “sinners” for all of their mistakes and sins while patting myself on the back for what an awesome man of God I was. After all, I didn’t drink, smoke, have sex or any other of the “big” sins! My dad pointed out to me that I was a spiritual snob. It took me months of thought on his rebuking to realize how right he was.
My best friend in high school who was active in our church with me and we were close. We were discipled together and both had paper routes. We hung out all of the time. He was a great friend. In Febuary of my senior year in high school, he flew into the school parking lot and slammed on the breaks. He told me to get in his car and screamed out of the parking lot. He told me that his girlfriend was pregnant and he wanted me to be the best man in his wedding (2 weeks later). Had this been anyone else I would have looked down on him and pointed fingers at what a sinner he was. But this was Tommy, my best friend. I really cared about him. Sure he had made a mistake, but what he needed was a friend. My parents were very supportive and allowed me to be the best man in his wedding and I stood beside him in more ways than just the wedding. Unfortunately, I was a member of a church full of Pharisees.
Like I said I was the chief of them up until Tommy’s crisis. I could not believe how ugly our church treated Tommy. In his time of need, they, we dropped the ball. We could have reached out to Tommy and Jane but the church turned their back on him. This led to Tommy dropping out of church and 2 years later divorcing Jane (after another child was born). To this day I don’t believe Tommy is living for God. It is because of Pharisees like me.
My name is Kevin and I am a Pharisee. This whole incident changed me! I didn’t change over night. I have a quick tongue and can lash out with the best of them. But, by the power of the Holy Spirit and my wife, I have changed. I look at people as people not numbers. I try to put myself in their shoes and ask, why are they behaving in the manner they are. Why are they sinning? (because I still do!)
Recently I had a great conversation with a young person. They told me they knew they had turned from God. In the past, I might have heaped insults and called them “sinner” and turned my back on them. Believe me, I was told about their exploits by a few people. I had even confronted this person in the past. But, the old saying you can catch more flies with honey applies. I believe the best way to reach people in their sin is not scolding and telling them how bad they are. I believe we are to love them and encourage them. That is what Barnabas did with John Mark. Paul wanted to abandon John Mark and Paul and Barnabas split because of John. But later on because of the encouragement of Barnabas, John Mark became useful to Paul.
We need to confront wayward believers, but not pushing them away so far that we can’t love them. The prodical son’s father didn’t yell and scream at him, he loved him and welcomed him back. That is the legacy I want to leave. I want people to say I am/was an encourager! My name is Kevin and I am a recovering Pharisee
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me too
“Recovering pharisee” describes me. I wonder if it is hereditary?
B,
It might be. Great to hear from you. Tell all my west coast family hello.
Tommy’s story sounds EXACTLY like mine. Well part of it anyway. I had a shotgun wedding at 24 and was divorced 2 years later. But unlike Tommy, my divorce was the event the Lord used to draw me back to him and the church.
But your story sounds eerily similar to mine. Judgment based on looks and sins, and not at the heart. Oh, how I have so much growing to do.
Thanks for sharing this Kevin!
Phillip,
]Thanks for coming by and sharing your experience
Great post. I’ve been like Tommy but with different sins. I didn’t really give anyone a chance to “act like a Pharisee” because I withdrew from church & though I never really withdrew from God, I stopped listening to him (talked to him a lot, but didn’t listen). Eventually he brought me back, through a time of brokenness, and now I have so much more appreciation for his love for me. Amazing grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like ME!
Kevin, thanks for the post. I understand what you’re saying but want to clarify a bit if that is okay. The problem is not that you are a Pharisee, but that you were a hypocrite. Jesus never condemns the Pharisees for being Pharisees (a group of people with a specific theology), he criticizes them for not living out what they claimed to believe. I think we like to paint Jesus condemnation of the Pharisee as being because they we legalistic (some were) but that is not what he says. Most Pharisees were faithful followers of God, and they criticized the hypocrites among themselves in the same manner that Jesus did. Paul claimed to be a Pharisee, not that he was a Pharisee. So, I guess it might be more proper to say you are a recovering hypocrite, much like myself. I just hate it when the Pharisee get a bad rap, they were just being faithful and a few bad apples have spoiled the whole bunch. : )
You may be onto something Jeff. A 12 step program for rotten apples like myself.
R.ecovering A.pple T.reatment and S.upport
or
RATS
: )
Andrew
Since salvation is from the Lord alone, it is a soteriological misunderstanding to say we may have somehow caused someone to go astray, lose their salvation, or to remain in a state lostness. Jesus taught that our ability to come to him is a gift from God (John 6:65). Truly, our great and sovereign God never goes on a rescue mission that fails (e.g., the conversion of Paul on the road to Damascus, etc.).
It will important to realize that we are not the captains of our eternal destiny. Our Lord is not at our mercy for any reason. Rather, we are desperately at His mercy. It’s all about Him!
In His power and for His glory,
Dennis Fischer
Lincoln, Nebraska USA
E-mail: dennisfischer@neb.rr.com
Kevin, it’s funny. I was looking for a photo of a pharisee so I can make a logo for my blog and your blog popped up. I think we have a few things in common.
In the brief time I’ve spent reading your posts, thanks for sharing what you share.
nicodemusatnite.blogspot.com
Dig the blog and your picture is awesome.
You’re not alone, we all have the “pharisee mentality”.
That’s why I named my blog the Pharisee Killer.