Dec 12 2007
recovering pharisee
My name is Kevin and I am a Pharisee. I mentioned in a previous post that I am a recovering Pharisee! I thank God for that! I used to judge people based on their lifestyle, looks, $$, the way they talked and other ways. God has a way of changing you. I used to condemn “sinners” for all of their mistakes and sins while patting myself on the back for what an awesome man of God I was. After all, I didn’t drink, smoke, have sex or any other of the “big” sins! My dad pointed out to me that I was a spiritual snob. It took me months of thought on his rebuking to realize how right he was.
My best friend in high school who was active in our church with me and we were close. We were discipled together and both had paper routes. We hung out all of the time. He was a great friend. In Febuary of my senior year in high school, he flew into the school parking lot and slammed on the breaks. He told me to get in his car and screamed out of the parking lot. He told me that his girlfriend was pregnant and he wanted me to be the best man in his wedding (2 weeks later). Had this been anyone else I would have looked down on him and pointed fingers at what a sinner he was. But this was Tommy, my best friend. I really cared about him. Sure he had made a mistake, but what he needed was a friend. My parents were very supportive and allowed me to be the best man in his wedding and I stood beside him in more ways than just the wedding. Unfortunately, I was a member of a church full of Pharisees.
Like I said I was the chief of them up until Tommy’s crisis. I could not believe how ugly our church treated Tommy. In his time of need, they, we dropped the ball. We could have reached out to Tommy and Jane but the church turned their back on him. This led to Tommy dropping out of church and 2 years later divorcing Jane (after another child was born). To this day I don’t believe Tommy is living for God. It is because of Pharisees like me.
My name is Kevin and I am a Pharisee. This whole incident changed me! I didn’t change over night. I have a quick tongue and can lash out with the best of them. But, by the power of the Holy Spirit and my wife, I have changed. I look at people as people not numbers. I try to put myself in their shoes and ask, why are they behaving in the manner they are. Why are they sinning? (because I still do!)
Recently I had a great conversation with a young person. They told me they knew they had turned from God. In the past, I might have heaped insults and called them “sinner” and turned my back on them. Believe me, I was told about their exploits by a few people. I had even confronted this person in the past. But, the old saying you can catch more flies with honey applies. I believe the best way to reach people in their sin is not scolding and telling them how bad they are. I believe we are to love them and encourage them. That is what Barnabas did with John Mark. Paul wanted to abandon John Mark and Paul and Barnabas split because of John. But later on because of the encouragement of Barnabas, John Mark became useful to Paul.
We need to confront wayward believers, but not pushing them away so far that we can’t love them. The prodical son’s father didn’t yell and scream at him, he loved him and welcomed him back. That is the legacy I want to leave. I want people to say I am/was an encourager! My name is Kevin and I am a recovering Pharisee
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me too
“Recovering pharisee” describes me. I wonder if it is hereditary?
B,
It might be. Great to hear from you. Tell all my west coast family hello.
Tommy’s story sounds EXACTLY like mine. Well part of it anyway. I had a shotgun wedding at 24 and was divorced 2 years later. But unlike Tommy, my divorce was the event the Lord used to draw me back to him and the church.
But your story sounds eerily similar to mine. Judgment based on looks and sins, and not at the heart. Oh, how I have so much growing to do.
Thanks for sharing this Kevin!
Phillip,
]Thanks for coming by and sharing your experience
Great post. I’ve been like Tommy but with different sins. I didn’t really give anyone a chance to “act like a Pharisee” because I withdrew from church & though I never really withdrew from God, I stopped listening to him (talked to him a lot, but didn’t listen). Eventually he brought me back, through a time of brokenness, and now I have so much more appreciation for his love for me. Amazing grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like ME!
Kevin, thanks for the post. I understand what you’re saying but want to clarify a bit if that is okay. The problem is not that you are a Pharisee, but that you were a hypocrite. Jesus never condemns the Pharisees for being Pharisees (a group of people with a specific theology), he criticizes them for not living out what they claimed to believe. I think we like to paint Jesus condemnation of the Pharisee as being because they we legalistic (some were) but that is not what he says. Most Pharisees were faithful followers of God, and they criticized the hypocrites among themselves in the same manner that Jesus did. Paul claimed to be a Pharisee, not that he was a Pharisee. So, I guess it might be more proper to say you are a recovering hypocrite, much like myself. I just hate it when the Pharisee get a bad rap, they were just being faithful and a few bad apples have spoiled the whole bunch. : )
You may be onto something Jeff. A 12 step program for rotten apples like myself.
R.ecovering A.pple T.reatment and S.upport
or
RATS
: )
Andrew
Since salvation is from the Lord alone, it is a soteriological misunderstanding to say we may have somehow caused someone to go astray, lose their salvation, or to remain in a state lostness. Jesus taught that our ability to come to him is a gift from God (John 6:65). Truly, our great and sovereign God never goes on a rescue mission that fails (e.g., the conversion of Paul on the road to Damascus, etc.).
It will important to realize that we are not the captains of our eternal destiny. Our Lord is not at our mercy for any reason. Rather, we are desperately at His mercy. It’s all about Him!
In His power and for His glory,
Dennis Fischer
Lincoln, Nebraska USA
E-mail: dennisfischer@neb.rr.com
Kevin, it’s funny. I was looking for a photo of a pharisee so I can make a logo for my blog and your blog popped up. I think we have a few things in common.
In the brief time I’ve spent reading your posts, thanks for sharing what you share.
nicodemusatnite.blogspot.com
Dig the blog and your picture is awesome.
You’re not alone, we all have the “pharisee mentality”.
That’s why I named my blog the Pharisee Killer.
Kevin, I am glad I am not alone. I wrote the following a couple of years ago.
The Recovering Pharisee
Jonathan: “Hello, my name is Jonathan and I am a recovering Pharisee.”
Group: “Welcome Jonathan”
Jonathan: “It has been an hour since my last harsh judgement again others.”
Group: Gentle applause.
Yes, I am Jonathan and I am a recovering Pharisee. I say recovering because the temptation remains within me. I am afraid I don’t have 12 easy steps to set you free; Pharisees love steps, and lists, and books with all the answers in point form. If you are a Pharisee like me, you have all my love and sympathy. It isn’t easy to see in ourselves, but when we do, there is hope.
One Sabbath Jesus was going through the grain fields, and his disciples began to pick some heads of grain, rub them in their hands and eat the kernels. Some of the Pharisees asked, “Why are you doing what is unlawful on the Sabbath?”
Jesus answered them, “Have you never read what David did when he and his companions were hungry? He entered the house of God, and taking the consecrated bread, he ate what is lawful only for priests to eat. And he also gave some to his companions.” Then Jesus said to them, “The Son of Man is Lord of the Sabbath.”
On another Sabbath he went into the synagogue and was teaching, and a man was there whose right hand was shrivelled. The Pharisees and the teachers of the law were looking for a reason to accuse Jesus, so they watched him closely to see if he would heal on the Sabbath. But Jesus knew what they were thinking and said to the man with the shrivelled hand, “Get up and stand in front of everyone.” So he got up and stood there.
Then Jesus said to them, “I ask you, which is lawful on the Sabbath: to do good or to do evil, to save life or to destroy it?”
He looked around at them all, and then said to the man, “Stretch out your hand.” He did so, and his hand was completely restored. But they were furious and began to discuss with one another what they might do to Jesus.
Luke 6: 1-11
Reading about the Pharisees, their behaviour seems so obvious to us; they cared more about their laws than the people they were called to serve. Looking back at my first reading of this passage, I might describe my feelings as somewhat smug; I couldn’t imagine myself falling into such bad behaviour. I wish I could apologize to those Pharisees for thinking it was so easy and obvious. It was much more subtle than I ever imagined.
Obviously, I didn’t start out as a Pharisee, but I think I was predisposed like a lot of people. In my case, I had a lot of preparation for the job. I had grown up in chaos and had a deep need for order, control, and structure. Abuse and neglect in my family had left me rather hyper responsible, like the fate of the world rested on my shoulders. Becoming a Christian only gave these qualities purpose. I became a protector and defender of the faith.
The error of any Pharisee is the elevation of rules above the needs of people; in this way, the rules become our god. I couldn’t imagine that was what I was doing at the time, but the ink was setting. I read the bible veraciously, trying to divine out all that it meant to be a Christian. I wanted to understand so I wouldn’t make any mistakes; I was afraid of making mistakes. As I read, it wasn’t a great leap to applying these truths to those around me. Everyone was falling short.
Jesus said, “Woe to you experts in the law, because you have taken away the key to knowledge. You yourselves have not entered, and you hindered those who were entering.”
Luke 11:52
If there was a rule, I rested on the side of caution. Smoking, drinking, dancing, skipping church, sex and so on; I had an opinion about everything. Christian were supposed to be better than non-Christians; the radio preachers said so. I was there to point out all the inconsistencies. I became so well versed in the bible, I could talk my way around almost anyone, arguing my points very effectively. Unfortunately, I could also twist the bible to serve my purpose as well, though I didn’t see it that way.
God didn’t seem to intervene enough in the lives of people, so that became my job. It didn’t even occur to me that his actions were deliberate; I just thought he needed me, called me. It was very presumptuous of me. To be honest, Free Will seemed a mistake. I had a great many shouldn’ts and a lot of musts to offer people. I became very accomplished at the art of the argument, emphasis on ‘argue’. I was relentless in trying to convince people they were wrong, that I knew the truth. I had years of hard work ahead of me.
As I said, God didn’t seem to intervene often enough, but eventually he decided to intervene with me. It wasn’t so obvious it was him, but looking back, I think it was him. I had invited a friend to a gospel service; I had been sharing with her about God’s love and forgiveness for months. Out in the parking lot, I asked her what was holding her back from embracing both.
When she described the things she needed to ‘fix’ before she could become a Christian, it came down on me like a ton of bricks. Many of the things she described were on my shouldn’t list.
This was the first I knew I was wr wr wr… wrong. This revelation started me on my journey. I wish I could say it has been a quick journey from there to where I am now, but it has been a struggle of years; my Christian friends have been very patient with me. I had to learn a great deal about myself before I could really give up the full mantle of the Pharisee. As God respected Free Will, I had to learn to respect it as well. I had to become an expert plank remover; it was time to stop wasting time cleaning up the sawdust.
“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.
“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”
Matthew 7:1-5
I have a great deal of sympathy for Pharisees. I remember reading about the rest and light burdens Jesus offered the Christian, but the weight of responsibility I felt was overwhelming. If the Christian fails, there is forgiveness; for the Pharisee, there is little forgiveness, mostly fear. If they don’t save the church, who will? Can you imagine? Please love all us Pharisees, even when we are unreasonable, but please don’t give us free reign or we will rule the church we love to death.
We are in every church. We may sit in silence, weighing situations and people. We may be the first to speak up when there is talk of change in policy, procedure or program. When interviewing pastors, we can offer the most challenging and often obscure questions, meant to root out any impostors. We are ever watchful and ready to alert the church to any danger. We know our bibles very well; we talk the talk and walk the walk. We will challenge you to the breaking, but please love us; offer us the grace we often deny ourselves and others.
Jonathan