Confessions of a Recovering Pharisee

[From LSJ.com]

A pastor being sued by a former member of his church testified this morning that he was angry that she filed the lawsuit.

“I was being sued by somebody who I didn’t know was my enemy,” David Russell Williams said this morning in testimony in Eaton County Circuit Court.

Judith Dadd, 52, of Lansing is suing Mount Hope Church, based in Delta Township, and Williams. She says she went to the altar during a July 18, 2002 rally for church leaders and was “slain in the Spirit” according to testimony. She fell backward and struck her head on the floor. Dadd claims she still suffers from the effects of the fall, including depression, memory loss and difficulty concentrating.

Read about it here.

[From me]

I guess that is why Benny Hinn has people catching people when he blows on them.
What’s next?

• Lawsuits because people gained too much weight eating Fried Chicken at church fellowships?
• How about suing over a watermelon seed being stuck in a person’s throat following a summer church picnic?
• Maybe someone can sue a church for an ear infection following a baptism?
• What about suing because you didn’t get blessed in keeping with the stock market after tithing?
• Maybe a suit against the pastor for eye strain because he moves too much?
• How about false advertising during communion because when they give the cup it isn’t wine but grape juice?

What other suits might come in the future?

Unique Johnny-Light™ toilet seat floods the bowl with soft, green light when the lid is lifted, preventing nighttime accidents. Helpful for potty-training children, and a great reminder to lower the seat when finished. Uses 2 AAA batteries (included). Plastic. Fits standard toilets.

Don’t you just love modern technology!

The principal of Park High School returned to school Tuesday after a six-day suspension for giving a student a “wedgie.” The District Board held a special meeting Monday and approved Superintendent recommendation that Principal Eric Messerli be allowed to return to work.

Messerli was suspended for two days without pay and four days with pay for grabbing a Park High senior’s soccer jersey and pulling it over his head and giving the student a “wedgie” by pulling up on the waist band of his underwear. The incident happened on Oct. 5 at a junior varsity soccer game. Read about it here.

What do I say? I’m just grateful that none of my youth when I was a student minister turned me in for giving “wedgies.”

Three guys from New Jersey are out with a book that ranks the 101 most influential people who never lived.  People like Luke Skywalker, who’s number 85; Buffy the Vampire Slayer, who’s number 44; and Mickey Mouse, who comes in at number 18.  The most influential person who never lived is The Marlboro Man. The authors call him “the most famous killer of the last 200 years.” Read the list here.

Here is the top 10:

1. The Marlboro Man

2. Big Brother

3. King Arthur

4. Santa Claus (St. Nick)

5. Hamlet

6. Dr. Frankenstein’s Monster

7. Siegfried

8. Sherlock Holmes

9. Romeo and Juliet

10. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

I don’t understand # 4!!

This got me thinking…Who are the most influencial people who never blogged?

The conclusion of a lawsuit involving a grandmother, terrorism fears, a gruff postal clerk and the dense dessert only added to the “lamentable reputation” of the U.S. Postal Service, according to the court.

It all began Dec. 17, 2002, when Lucille Greene, 88, showed up at the Magnolia post office with a box of fruitcakes. Every year, Greene bakes and mails up to 30 fruitcakes before Christmas, sending them to relatives and friends, nuns and veterans. But on that occasion, nearly a year after several deaths from anthrax sent through the mail, Greene encountered what she felt was rude and embarrassing questioning from the clerk, James P. Maurer.

“He shook my fruitcakes and asked ‘what kind of explosives do you have in here?’ ” Greene said.

Others in the post office began to laugh, Greene said, and even though the package was accepted, she became flustered and upset, leaving in tears and tripping over a concrete parking barrier outside, seriously injuring her knee and breaking her glasses and a tooth.

She subsequently filed a lawsuit seeking damages for intentional and negligent infliction of emotional distress — charging the rude interrogation, where she felt she was accused of being a terrorist, led directly to her injuries. Read about it here.

I would say giving a fruitcake for a gift is terrorism!