Confessions of a Recovering Pharisee

[SCSU Collegian & NPR] Youth Radio’s Pendarvis Harshaw says that among his friends, the transition from condoms to no-condoms signifies a lasting commitment.

It shows trust, commitment, and the prospect of a shared future,” he adds.

As bold as the statement may be, it is a part of Harshaw’s essay, “Sex Without Condoms Is the New Engagement Ring,” where he explores the way today’s youth approach monogamy in relationships. 

The essay was submitted as a part of Youth Radio’s “What’s the New What?” series, which highlights new trends in youth culture.  In the on-air essay, Harshaw acknowledges the dangers of contracting STDs and the risk of unexpected pregnancies. He emphasized that while youth may ditch condoms in their sexual activities, other forms of birth control are still widely used.  After conducting an informal survey, Harshaw said he came up with the leading argument for his essay.

“[I spoke with] everybody from friends, to co-workers, to residents about relationships-how to approach getting into a monogamous relationship, and I saw a consistent trend,” says Harshaw. “A lot of people were talking about the most major step is the step toward unprotected sex.”

The controversial issue tackled in Harshaw’s essay has definitely raised eyebrows among the NPR audience and has received harsh criticisms and empathetic remarks alike.

“I believe the feedback was mixed because older folks just plain do not want to hear the truth about young people encountering heavy sexual situations at younger ages. These situations are definitely adult, and used to be taboo to even talk about, but children have been bombarded with so much sexual imagery by the media, that the situations themselves have become common,” says senior Matt Cody, film production major and founder of HowHood University Records.

Harshaw, who set out to shed light on youth perspective of monogamy with this essay, has been surprised and pleased with the feedback surrounding his argument.

Read more here and here.

[From me]

I admit, I don’t understand this.  I come from a Christian perspective in which sex is intended for people who married.  I don’t care what the divorce rates are, that is no excuse for skirting God’s design.  What is sad is when followers of Jesus don’t even follow his plans.  It breaks my heart when I hear about former students who made purity commitments don’t follow through on their promise to God and their future mates.  Now I realize there are those who make mistakes and God does forgive. But to say that the practice mentioned in the essay above is the new engagement is sad.

What do you think?

[USA Today]

While researchers say the overall divorce rate is higher among those who lived together before marriage, now they don’t blame cohabitating.

“There’s been a sea change in societal, cultural and individual acceptance of cohabitation,” says Pamela Smock, a sociologist at the Population Studies Center at the University of Michigan-Ann Arbor. “A lot of the earlier studies were relying on data that may have been gathered in the late ’80s and mid-’90s. We’re talking about a moving target. The evidence is a lot more mixed.”

“The nature of cohabitation has changed,” says Jay Teachman, a sociology professor at Western Washington University in Bellingham. “Cohabitators 20 years ago were the rule breakers, the rebels, the risk takers — the folks who were perhaps not as interested in marriage, and using cohabitation as an alternative to marriage.”

 

“Twenty or 25 years ago, if you were cohabiting and then married them, the marriage was more likely to dissolve and end in divorce,” he says. “Today, that’s not the case. You can cohabit with your spouse and not experience increased risk of divorce. We’re making these finer distinctions that we didn’t make before.

“Read about it here.

[From me]

We have a few couples on our street that aren’t married and they have children together.  My question isn’t if it is wrong (the Bible makes that clear for believers), it is how are we going to minister to people who are living this lifestyle.  If someone is not a believer are we going to judge them to the point they are turned off to Christianity or are we going to reach out to them?  Conversely, are we going to confront (in love) Christ followers who are living outside the will of God?  Tough ministry ahead.

What do you think?