Confessions of a Recovering Pharisee

I don’t normally link to other blog stories unless it really grabs me.  Well yesterday one did.  I found this blog on MMI and was moved by Brad Johnson’s story. (not the Brad Johnson who was my intern)

He was a pastor for many years and he wrote had about a moral failure that cost him his marriage and his church. Fortunately it did not destroy his faith.  He wrote an open apology to his former church here.  But I had to find out what happened to him.  Because I know that if I don’t put the proper systems in place and stay close to God–this could be me.  

But I also have been broken of pointing fingers to those who do fall.  It all started in high school when my best friend had a child out of wedlock.  It continues this week when a good friend has made some seriously terrible choices.  But, what do we as “THE CHURCH” do when a fellow believer or minister fails?  How are we to respond?

Brad wrote a post a back on April 2, called, “serves em right.”  In this post he describes how the “CHURCH” (collective group) treated him after his moral failure.  He said some individual Christians reached out to him but the “CHURCH” did not.  Look at some of these quotes from Brad:

As I write about the ‘Church,’ I write about the groupcollected. I write about an organized body, a gathering, a mob, a conspicuous unity of believers congregated, moving in a unified direction. I speak of leaders and those who aspire to be-those who are positioned to ’speak on behalf of…” No individual Christian is being singled out.

Also, I acknowledge that those in the church, just like me, are sinful, falling down types. So…it is with understanding and distinction that I ponder….(not conclusions….just observations. The response from the ‘gathered’ group has been deafening silence or worse, a ’serves him right’ attitude manifested by words and actions.

Well, guess what? It does serve me right. It is certainly what I deserve. Serves me right. Where I get confused is the definition of grace, where we offer to another what they DON’T deserve. That has not been offered by the ‘Church.’

No collected group of ‘Christ’s Followers’ have offered to share coffee, or inquire about my well-being, or drop by for a visit, or invite me to a ‘fellowship’ (oh, how I coul write on that word…what a load of ….poo).

No collected group of ‘Christ’s Follwers’ have sought to lift a burden, extend a hand, or walk with me a mile.

Not one pastor (teachers of the ‘Church’) from Ventura County has called me to ask about me, or express care–let alone just pray for me over the phone; not one….in a year. (with the exception of the pastor of the church where I now attend)

Not one Women’s Bible Study group called Heidi, inquired about her well-being, offered care. What do you ladies study?

Grace is giving what is NOT deserved. And that is what has been missing from the church.

I was a blessed child–I know that. I lived I guess in a fantasy world. My parents have been married to each other for over 45 years. They are still serving God in fact their ministry is probably stronger today than it ever has been. In fact last week they did a marriage seminar in Virginia and 23 people made decisions to follow Christ. Over 50 couples recommitted their marriages.

When I was growing up in Tuscaloosa, AL in the 1970’s all of my friends liked coming over to my house. We weren’t rich in terms of money by any means but we were rich in love. I don’t mean that to sound corny but it is true. Many of my friends lived in highly dysfunctional homes and coming over to our house was a safe harbor. Many of my friends referred to my mom and dad as Mama Bussey and Papa Bussey.

I never realized how blessed I was. My father came from a highly dysfunctional home. His dad was an alcoholic. I found out recently that my mom’s family was not what I had grown up to believe. It is amazing that we grew up in a “Brady Bunch” world.

I didn’t really start understanding dysfunction until I got married. My wife grew up in a single parent home. Her dad was an alcoholic and lets just say she grew up in a verbally abusive home. Don’t ever think that children just get over the pain of their childhood. I don’t think it ever goes away.

In my ministry I encounter dysfunction on a regular basis. I think my life was the exception rather than the rule. I have been reading books and conversing with people in recent months that give me a picture of childhood I could never imagine.

What happened to my Brady Bunch world?

I really don’t think it ever existed. I was just blessed. But why me? Why didn’t I encounter the pain that Cassandra and my friends did? Why was I spared the pain of divorce? Why was I not abused? I realize I was blessed and I am thankful But when I hear stories of pain and heartache I don’t know what to day. It is sobering. It is disheartening. It is discouraging. But it is life!

I don’t think it is the way God planned it. I think it all went downhill in the Garden of Eden. But I also think it can be better. I know it was for me. There is hope. I believe God wants us to strive for more. I don’t have all of the answers. In fact I have a lot of questions.

What do you think?

Here are some pictures of the funeral of one of the fallen Charlotte Police Officers. Gene our music minister and I walked about a mile down from our church to the cemetery. I don’t know if I have ever seen so many police cars. There were police cars from all over North and South Carolina and all over the country. We saw cars from Florida, Arkansas and the Highway Patrol from New York!

We talked to several police officers and expressed our gratitude for their service. There were so many cars that they some had to park outside the cemetery and walk in. One police woman thanked us for coming. We thanked her for her service to us. The mayor thanked us for coming too. One of our church members said that we were on the 6 o’clock news.

Following the funeral procession I went to see a wonderful lady who very ill. It was sad to see her so ill and the pain in the eyes of her adult children.

Then we had a Maundy Thursday Service at our church. It was very moving. It was depressing on purpose. We tried to make the mood as somber as possible. It was eerie seeing Jesus on the cross following communion. We left the service in dark and silence.

Today is “Good Friday.” I realize it is good for us but how good was it for Jesus to die on a cross to pay for the sins of the world. I don’t pretend to understand why people hurt and die. I don’t understand why people suffer. I have yet to figure out why parents abandon their children. I don’t understand how a husband could beat his wife and children. I don’t understand how a person could kill another just because. I may be good for us, but it must not have been good as Jesus cried out to God. I can’t imagine how good it was for God to watch His Son suffer? I would have jumped in.

As bad as it was for God the Father and Jesus, the sacrifice made was “good” for us. I’m learning to become more Christlike every day. I wish I could say I’ve made it. I know I won’t this side of Heaven. I pray you have a “Good Friday” and remember what He did for us. For those of you who haven’t experienced God’s grace and love I pray you find mercy, grace and love here. Today is good for us because Sunday is coming.

What do you think?

Yesterday someone named Mike posted the following on my post called I don’t get it.

FYI, Clinton confessed to his church in 1998 and repented as reported by Baptist Press http://bpnews.net/BPnews.asp?ID=25273

That means no more Clinton infidelity comments or jokes, right?

I read the article and I think Mike has a good point. According to the Baptist Press article President Clinton expressed repentance to his church. Here is what Rex Horne President Clinton’s former pastor said:

In October 1998, Clinton wrote a letter to the 4,500-member congregation, asking for forgiveness. Horne at the time told the Arkansas Baptist news magazine that the president had expressed repentance and sorrow. He said he “sensed an affirmation of the president’s request for forgiveness” from “the great majority of the people” attending the service when the letter was read.

Horne has never publicly disclosed the contents of Clinton’s letter to the Little Rock church, citing it as a personal matter between a pastor and his congregation.

Many pastors and other religious leaders have fallen in recent years. Naturally most followers of Jesus want to be forgiving. But does that only include those in the “Evangelical” or “Religious Right” community? I admit I’ve been hard on President Clinton in the past. My hockey stick is somewhat bigger when it comes to liberal democrats.

Was President Clinton playing his pastor and his church? I don’t know. But I feel I need to give him the same benefit of Grace that I would to Ted Haggard or Rick Ousley. Who knows if someone is truly repentant? I think only God knows for sure. But as followers of Jesus we are to keep on forgiving even if it is someone we disagree with.

Matthew 18:21

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times

I guess I have seventy more hockey sticks to pull out.

What do you think?

Mercy and compassion are not my spiritual gifts. I probably rank –10 on a scale from 1-10. But I have come to the realization that Jesus had all of the spiritual gifts and eventhough I may not have one, I need to act on it anyway. I have been discussing some deep subjects with some people recently (no one in Mobile). These issues are deep and the people involved in the sins no they are wrong but just can’t seem to break the bondage. As I discussed it with them further they said they don’t need more quotes of scripture-what they need is love, respect, empathy and prayer. The more I listened to their pain I realized how true that is. As a pastor I will always speak the truth but I must understand that there are people struggling with sin and they don’t always need more preaching-just love. My love and especially God’s love.

I Corinthians 13