Yesterday I posted a story about some groups in Christian circles that deny the deity of Jesus.  It brought about some interesting questions. Ask an Atheist and the book I’m reading by Eric Michael Bryant called Peppermint-filled Pinatas made me think about what truly distinguishes someone as a follower of Jesus.  Also, some of our discussions over the last few weeks about Grace vs. Law have been spinning in my head.

As I began thinking about it, I think one word would some up the mark of a true follower of Jesus–”LOVE.”  

I Thessalonians 3:12 

May the Lord make your love increase and overflow for each other and for everyone else, just as ours does for you.

I think doctrine is important, but someone can have a relationship with Jesus and have flawed doctrine. Think about areas in which believers disagree:  Calvinist vs. Arminian, Tongues vs. cessationists, baptism by immersion vs. sprinkling, suits vs. jeans, contemporary music vs. hymns (organ), Sunday School vs. Small groups in homes, King James only vs. NIV, NLT, NASV or Message,  etc…. I could go on and on.  None of those doctrines or styles are going to bring someone or keep them from a relationship with Jesus.  Many people are very dogmatic about their stances.  

But there is only one stance that matters:  That Jesus is the Son of God, God himself who died for our sins. There is nothing we can do to earn His favor it is all a gift.  Those are some of the Non-negotiables for me. I have friends who are Calvinists (my dad is) and others who are pentecostal.  I don’t agree with their points of view but I consider them fellow believers.  I believe we are serving the same God and working together to fulfill the Great Commission in Matthew 28:18-20.

So, I have become convicted in my own life that I must show more love.  Eric Michael Bryant points out in his book that the 1st Century believers didn’t talk about Love, they displayed it extravegantly. Eric says that many of our programs, ministries and churches operate like the world is wanting to become Christians but don’t know how.  We need to become more interested in people and loving them. Eric also said that the early church was winning people and then influencing friends. That is deep.

To me, we can have differences of opinion and debate various theologies and world views.  But Love must be displayed.  If someone claims to be a believer and has the most perfect theology but they don’t show love, I would wonder about their salvation.  I have been corrected (rightly so) by people who comment here that I have been judgmental at times.  I was wrong and ask for forgiveness.  I will start to look less for what is wrong and focus on what is right.  I’m not promising perfection.

The song says they will know we are Christians by our Love but unfortunately the world sees that we are Christians by our “demanding to be right!”

What do you think?

Yesterday Scott Freeman asked what if Cho Seung-Hui had received an extra hug would it have made a difference at Virginia Tech? Who knows but I wonder if Scott was right. I deal with people on a regular basis who just don’t feel loved. I mentioned yesterday about the young man who killed himself. It was because he felt unloved by a girl. Would an extra hug have made a difference?

I’m blessed to have a group of serial huggers at my church. I kid you not these smiling ladies are waiting every time I see them to hug me. Not only do they hug, they about break my ribs. They hug everyone and you know what? It makes you feel loved and cared about.

Would a hug have made a difference in Cho Seung-Hui or the young boy here in Charlotte? Only God knows. But what about the people we are around everyday? Do we tell them we love them and that God loves them? Do we smile and make them feel cared about? Or do we ignore them like Cho Seung-Hui felt? I’m not passing blame for a sick man. But would a hug have made a difference?

Just a thought. What do you think?

I was a blessed child–I know that. I lived I guess in a fantasy world. My parents have been married to each other for over 45 years. They are still serving God in fact their ministry is probably stronger today than it ever has been. In fact last week they did a marriage seminar in Virginia and 23 people made decisions to follow Christ. Over 50 couples recommitted their marriages.

When I was growing up in Tuscaloosa, AL in the 1970’s all of my friends liked coming over to my house. We weren’t rich in terms of money by any means but we were rich in love. I don’t mean that to sound corny but it is true. Many of my friends lived in highly dysfunctional homes and coming over to our house was a safe harbor. Many of my friends referred to my mom and dad as Mama Bussey and Papa Bussey.

I never realized how blessed I was. My father came from a highly dysfunctional home. His dad was an alcoholic. I found out recently that my mom’s family was not what I had grown up to believe. It is amazing that we grew up in a “Brady Bunch” world.

I didn’t really start understanding dysfunction until I got married. My wife grew up in a single parent home. Her dad was an alcoholic and lets just say she grew up in a verbally abusive home. Don’t ever think that children just get over the pain of their childhood. I don’t think it ever goes away.

In my ministry I encounter dysfunction on a regular basis. I think my life was the exception rather than the rule. I have been reading books and conversing with people in recent months that give me a picture of childhood I could never imagine.

What happened to my Brady Bunch world?

I really don’t think it ever existed. I was just blessed. But why me? Why didn’t I encounter the pain that Cassandra and my friends did? Why was I spared the pain of divorce? Why was I not abused? I realize I was blessed and I am thankful But when I hear stories of pain and heartache I don’t know what to day. It is sobering. It is disheartening. It is discouraging. But it is life!

I don’t think it is the way God planned it. I think it all went downhill in the Garden of Eden. But I also think it can be better. I know it was for me. There is hope. I believe God wants us to strive for more. I don’t have all of the answers. In fact I have a lot of questions.

What do you think?

This morning I was reading a book by John Shore called I’m OK-You’re Not. I was enjoying it and just breezing through until I read chapter 4–”What’s Love Got to do with it?”

I was hit by a ton of bricks by his story. His parents divorced him when he was 8 years old and didn’t see his dad for 2 years until one night his mom bolted and his dad showed back into his life with a new wife. His step-mom said she didn’t love John or his sister and only wanted to have his dad and their home. Ouch!

Then he said these quotes:

“Love is always suspect and absolutely conditional”

“And in` real, practical terms, what that always boils down to is that most of us don’t feel very lovable at all.”

This week has been an emotional week. I was in Starbucks studying this morning for our Maundy Thursday Service we are having tonight. When I think about the pain Jesus endured it is unthinkable. While I was studying four Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police officers walked in with a black stripe across their badges.

Two of our finest were murdered this week and today is the funeral for one of them. I walked up to the four officers and thanked them for what they do. I said I know you don’t hear that enough and I’m sorry for your loss. I don’t know why but I got very emotional.

This past week two regular posters on this site who are not believers decided to stop posting. I’ve emailed them both but they don’t feel welcome anymore. I’m truly sick about this. I valued their opinions even-though we didn’t see eye to eye. I’m sorry for any pain they may have felt. One emailed a picture to me I believe to shock me. I wasn’t offended at all. I realize that he was hurt and was trying to hurt back. I’m sorry. I truly do love them. Maybe I need to learn a better way of expressing that love.

I have been very fortunate. I still have both of my Godly and loving parents living. They only live an hour and a half away. Sometimes I don’t understand the pain of other people. I’m sure I take that for granted sometimes. My wife, Cassandra lived in a dysfunctional home and she made comments to me similar to John’s above. I can’t imagine living life without feeling loved.

I’m sorry for the pain that many people experience. I’m trying to be more understanding. I hope it makes me a better Christ-follower, husband, father, son, brother, friend, neighbor and minister.

I know this is a ramble but I’m really trying to figure out how to love those who feel unlovable. Please believe me that I care –but I’m still learning.

What do you think?

Sometimes you just can win with certain people. No matter what you do they have to be right. They have to win. I confess, I have been guilty of this before. But somehow I believe God is more concerned with our hearts than being right. In SBC circles we have purged our denomination of the “liberals” and such over the last 25 years. The only problems was the way it was done was without love. When Southwestern fired Dr. Dilday, it was cruel. He wasn’t even a liberal.

Anyway, this morning I read on monday morning insight that Bill Hybels and Rick Warren, mega church pastors were confessing their sins for not stepping up on the fight for AIDS/HIV. Good for them. But there were people who were saying they were “Unequally yoked” for partnering with Pharmaceutical companies! Give me a break! Come on, I will accept any free stuff I can to help hurting people. In fact, yesterday, Toys for Tots and Wal Mart gave FBTC a huge truck load of toys and stuff for its Christmas Store. The Christmas Store gives FREE Christmas presents to needy people in Southwest Mobile. Does this mean that FBTC is unequally yoked? I don’t think so.

I think we can nit-pick everything to death. Marty Duren has been bringing up another important issue in SBC circles. The International Mission Board is now requiring that its missionaries be baptized in an SBC church. My question is when is being “right” more important than love?