Confessions of a Recovering Pharisee

Many of you know that I serve on staff at a new church in NW Charlotte.  I know God called us to serve here but unfortunately the church can’t bring on a full-time salaried person quite yet.  I’ve been looking all summer for a 2nd job. As most of you know I used to hang out at Starbucks every day to pray, read, study and meet people.  It was a great experience.  Unfortunately I haven’t been doing that since I resigned my former church for obvious reasons! $$$$

My wife and I were in Uptown (downtown for other cities) Charlotte walking around.  Uptown Charlotte is a cool place.  If we didn’t have children at home I would love to live there.  I love big cities and Uptown has the feel of a little NYC.  People are moving in droves to the condos and townhomes in Uptown.  While we were walking around I saw a competitor to Starbucks coffee shop that had a sign looking for employees.  So 2 days later I applied for a job.  I actually interviewed with the manager and participated in an in store experience.  I thought for sure the manager was going to offer me a job but he told me later that week that he wasn’t going to get to hire anyone until maybe the fall.

In the mean time I applied at another of the Starbucks competitors (online) in the building of the largest bank in America.  That was 3 weeks ago.  On Monday I called the 1st store back and asked if business had gotten better and he said no so I pretty much ruled it out.  Then on Tuesday I met my friend Mike Landrum at the Starbucks I used to go to on a regular basis and I was about to apply for a position there.  But I overheard the manager say that they were one of the casualties of the Starbucks closure.  I never realized that my stopping to hang out there would cause them to close!

After having lunch with Mike Landrum I got a call from the 2nd store manager of the Starbucks rival store and he wanted to meet with me.  He knows the other manager and he believes the reason he didn’t hire me was because of my faith.  But this manager has no problem with me.  So yesterday I did another in store experience and it was great. In fact the 1st manager walked in to get some straws and my new manger got a kick out of it.  I hold no grudge and know that God had His reasons.  I even had a chance to talk about God’s will vs. fate.  

I’m not there to convert people and I have no ulterior motives other than I need the money.  But I don’t believe God allows things to happen by accident.  I’m praying that my book, Confessions of a Recovering Pharisee will be accepted by the literary agent that I have been talking with.  But I already have another book in mind called “CONFESSIONS OF A BARISTA.” 

I can’t wait to the stories I will get from working in the real world.  I’m excited about working in Uptown Charlotte because I see a real need for God among the people who live and work there. Camey Gravley affectionately calls her husband the “Wal-Mart” pastor so maybe I can be the “Coffee Pastor.” Should be an interesting ride!

When it rains it pours.  Most of you who read this know that our family has been financially challenged this past year.  I know we are not alone and we are very grateful for what God has provided.

This past week has been a spiritual struggle to say the least.  2 opportunities I had for secondary employment fell through.  Then we took 18 students and adults to Gatlinburg, TN for a retreat.  Mike Landrum my former associate and his former intern Matt Oakley led our retreat.  God did some amazing things through the both of them.   Mike told us the 1^st night that his prayer was that God would make them uncomfortable.  Well, I guess that included me.

The rest of the week was very stressful because God was teaching the students and me to trust in him.  A few weeks ago we taught about Jesus feeding the 5000 with 2 fish and five loaves of bread.  Then Mike taught from the same passage. 

We arrived home only to find our AC unit freezing up.  So I left yesterday to attend the Willowcreek Summit.  One of the speakers taught from Jesus feeding the 5000.  I’m tired of hearing that passage because it is obvious God wants me to learn something.  Cassandra called me while I was at the Summit to let me know that our AC will cost $1700 to fix.

So, my prayer from last year when I resigned was that God would show Himself is playing out.  Mikes prayer to make me uncomfortable is playing out.  I’m/we are beyond ourselves.  I have no idea how God is going to take care of this need.  I have no idea how he is going to take care of any of our needs.  But if I did I guess I wouldn’t need God would I?

Ever since the Mitchell Report came out a few months ago we have seen numerous ways of responding to the charges made in the report.  The report claims that many baseball players have used illegal performance enhancing drugs improve their playing and make their career last longer.  

Most of those named in the report acknowledged that they did use the drugs.  Some apologized. Others have kept quiet.  But Roger Clemens has gone on the attack to clear his good name.  I want to believe Roger.  I was never a Red Sox, Blue Jay or Yankee fan but I admired the way he played the game.

When Roger was named in the Mitchell Report there were many people who said he should come out swinging.  And swinging he has.  He has gone on 60 Minutes, made a You Tube video, held press conferences and testified before Congress that he did not use performance enhancing drugs.  He came across to me as believable.  But here is the problem.  His best buddy Andy Pettitte who was named in the Mitchell report and was trained by Brian McNamee.  Pettitte admitted that he used HGH.  But Roger flatly denies that he has taken drugs or any performance enhancements.  So what is it?

Then Roger files an anti-defamation suit against Brian McNamee.  Now team McNamee are pulling out all of the stops.  They are saying that Roger Clemens had a long time affair with Mindy McCready, a country music singer who has had her own illegal drug problems.  Truth is stranger than fiction.  You couldn’t write a more juicy story in Hollywood.

Here is the problem for me.  If Roger had admitted he took the performance enhancements would this have just blown over?  What if he had just kept his mouth shut?  Instead he makes a big deal and I think it is making him look worse.

What does this mean for us?  I usually can tell when my kids get defensive about something, they probably are guilty. When they calmly deny something, they usually are telling the truth, but when they get vocal, they are “usually” guilty.  It is probably the same for me.  How many times to we angrily argue with the police when we get pulled over for speeding (hypothetically, of course)?  I’ve found myself getting defensive with my wife and my kids and usually it is when I’m wrong.  I’m ashamed to admit that but it is true.

So what do we do?  I think the Bible gives us the best advice.  We should share our sins with one another.

James 5:16

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.

Had Roger just said, yes I took the HGH and steroids this story would have probably passed.

Sometimes it is best to keep our mouths shut.

Proverbs 18:2

A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions.

Proverbs 10:10

He who winks maliciously causes grief,  and a chattering fool comes to ruin.

Proverbs 17:28

Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue.

Had Roger just kept quiet the rest of the junk about his personal life would probably stayed out of the news.  This whole incident is sad because he is married and has children who are probably hurting.  

What do you think? 

Most of you know that I resigned my position as pastor 3 weeks ago. For those who are surfing everyday scouring for juicy nuggets—they aren’t coming. I have nothing but good things to say about the people at my former church and my time there.

I have learned a lot the last three weeks:

1. God is faithful.
2. God’s grace is more amazing then I ever imagined. I guess it took 5-6 humbling years for me to feel that grace. For those of us who grew up in grace-filled homes we take that for granted. I don’t anymore.
3. I have an amazing wife.
4. Cassandra works extremely hard homeschooling our children.
5. My children still love me and have been very, very supportive.
6. My children work hard in their homeschool work.
7. Pastors/ministers families take on more baggage then the average church member can imagine.
8. Moving stinks!
9. I have terrific parents.
10. I have a great brother and sister and in-laws.
11. I have really learned who my friends are. I have a lot.
12. I’m thankful for those who have called or e-mailed!
13. You have to be a friend to have a friend.
14. Yes, you can make “real” friends on the internet.
15. I have drunk more Starbucks from home then I did when I went there every morning.
16. My stash of “Hurricane Katrina” Starbucks is down to the last bag. Please help a guy out and send some pronto!
17. I’ve learned to drive a forklift
18. I’m not a morning person–I knew it but it is confirmed!
19. “What can Brown do for you?”
20. I’ve learned to take naps since I go to work in the early AM
21. Looking for jobs stinks.
22. How to play Guitar Hero III.
23. Ignore ugly things said about me and pray for those who say it.
24. Life doesn’t “owe” you anything.
25. Take one day at a time.
26. How freeing it has been to visit church and worship.
27. Two words–Simple & Grace
28. God is still doing amazing things in the world and in my community.
29. A college degree doesn’t promise you anything.
30. 2 Master’s degrees don’t either!
31. The world is changing–you can gripe about it or adapt.
32. Thankful that Rich Rodriguez turned down Bama last year-we got the better deal!
33. Alabama is mopping up in football recruiting!
34. Always take the high road.
35. Live like today is your last.
36. I can read a book in less than a day.
37. Thank God for Starbucks @ 4:30 AM!

I always know when I’m doing God’s will. How you ask? Opposition. Satan will do whatever he can to discourage us from doing what God tells us to do. I have felt more spiritual oppression in recent weeks than I have in some time. They come from every direction–church, home and health. Unexpected bills have come in and not nickel and dime ones either. The tension has been thick. But when I step back and look at it through the Bible I realize that it is a test.

I hate it when I actually have to live through what I’m teaching. I talked about relationships with others in both services yesterday. We are studying Chazown, understanding the vision God has for your life. I also am teaching a Next Generation class of 20’s-early 40’s. It is a mixture of married and singles. Look at our text for yesterday.

James 1:2-4 says:

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

Why won’t God give me a sugar-coated lesson or message? Those are much easier to teach. I’ve come to the conclusion it is because He loves me too much. The reason I experience difficulty is to prepare me for future endeavors.

Have you ever wondered why James tells us to consider it joy when we face trials? A lot of people get joy and happiness confused. James isn’t saying we should be happy when we endure trials, but we should have the joy of Christ oozing out of us. I think if I wasn’t experiencing trials there would probably be something wrong with my faith.

My “JOY” has increased a lot the last few weeks. God must really love me!
What do you think?