Confessions of a Recovering Pharisee

I’m curious what a safe or normal life looks or feels like.  I’ve never experienced it so I’m curious what it is like.  Since I was born I’ve never known normal.  My parents served in a faith based ministry and our income was dependent on God and the generosity of His people.  We had some lean times but we always were taken care of.  We never went on normal vacations yet we had supporters who sent us on vacations.  We had months were my parents weren’t receiving pay checks, yet we had more food than we could eat.  We never had the wealth of the world but we had love and excitement. 

My parents are still in a faith based ministry.  My brother and sister are not in vocational ministry but they are followers of Jesus and very active in their respective churches. But they live more normal lives then me. I was the crazy one who wasn’t satisfied with being a Coach/teacher or a businessman.  I had to live a life of reckless abandon.  What is wrong with me?  Is it a gene?  Is it a loose screw?  Or is it a call?

Sometimes I wonder what normal or safe feels like? I wonder what kind of harm I have allowed my family to endure? I wonder what it would be like to make a comfortable living and be active in my church as a layperson?  I wonder what it would be like to not risk?  I wonder what safe looks like?

What do you think?

Let me say that I’ve never heard God speak in an audible voice.  For those who have it makes hearing God easier.  But I have heard God speak to me through the years in various ways.  But there have been a few times where God spoke in my mind and heart unmistakably.  Friday at the Leadership Summit was one of those days.

For anyone who has met my wife Cassandra, you know what a special woman she is.  We have a special relationship that I can’t explain.  We are very connected spiritually and emotionally.  She is a gifted person in so many ways. I would dare say that there are people at many of the churches we served that were more upset that she left than me.

Almost everywhere we have served we have served separately.  We served in the same church but we would serve in different areas.  We thought that was OK because we were passionate about jumping in where we were needed.

When I was on staff in Jacksonville, NC I was being stretched in many directions so, Cass jumped in to lead the preschool department.  The personnel committee wanted to hire a full-time person but the pastor said why should we pay someone when we have Cassandra.  I didn’t think it was very funny.

When God called us to plant a church I should have been listening to what God was telling us.  We were assessed for church planting at the North American Mission Board (NAMB) and they told us that I scored well as a church planter but they gave us the highest rank you could get as a couple.  But we have never served in the same area together.

Then we interviewed with a mega church in Greensboro, NC a few years ago and the Executive Pastor couldn’t get over how well we worked together.   Later that summer we talked to another mega church in Austin, TX about starting a church with them.  During one of the interviews the Lead Pastor couldn’t stop smiling as he watched Cassandra and me talk.  He finally stopped and said you two are very connected.  He said he had never seen such a connection.  We laughed it off but have never served together in the same area.

Last year when we resigned our former church one of the reasons we decided to leave is that we wanted to serve as a family and not be divided on Sundays.  But again, each Sunday, I go one way and Cassandra goes another.  

Friday Cassandra was at home dealing with the AC people and I was telling our worship leader about it.  I joked and said they don’t want to mess with Cassandra because the Social Worker comes out in her and she is a bulldog when it comes to advocating for others –now she is advocating for us.  Susan made some comment about how talented Cassandra is and so did Lynn our other staff member.  Our pastor made a comment last week about how gifted Cassandra was as he watched her greeting people at a church event. Yet again, we weren’t serving together.

A few years ago Cassandra was over working in her volunteering so I tried to rescue her.  But I’ll never forget what she told me.  

She said, “have you ever thought that God has called me too?”

Wow, she was right.  Whenever she speaks she speaks with power.  She has a gift to speak to women.  She has them listening and before long they are in tears.  I joke and tell her she is “Beth Moore.”  She doesn’t like that. But she is that gifted.

So all of this is to tell you what God told me on Friday.  But really He has been telling me this for at least 10 years.  He told me while I was listening to Bill Hybels and then a video they showed at the Leadership Summit called “Here am I send me.”  What did God tell me?  

God said, “You and Cassandra are to be doing ministry together.”

Now I don’t know what this all means.  It won’t happen today or tomorrow. It may be a few years away.  But I heard God loud and clear. We are so much more effective (at least I am) when we work together. So I’m ready to see what God is going to do with all of this.  

[Life Site News]

In a research brief this month, Bradford Wilcox, a sociology professor at the University of Virginia, analyzed three national studies in order to discover if “there is any evidence that religion is playing a role in encouraging a strong family orientation among contemporary American men?”   His research led him to conclude that men who regularly attend Christian services are engaged in happier and stronger marriages and are more involved in the lives of their children than men who do not.

“70 percent of husbands who attend church regularly report they are ‘very happy’ in their marriages, compared to 59 percent of husbands who rarely or never attend church,” explained Wilcox, who also said that the studies indicated that wives experienced more marital happiness when their husbands attended regular religious services.

This is likely one significant reason why the studies showed that married couples who attended regular Christian services were approximately 35 percent less likely to divorce then those couples who did not. 

Read more here.

[From me]

Stats don’t tell the whole story.  I don’t think it is church or Christianity that makes men better fathers.  It is a relationship with God.  No training or family can prepare you for parenthood.  I think what that stats don’t tell you is how much prayer, Bible Study, fellowship, mentoring, discipleship and the Grace of God are in play.  

What do you think? 

Friday morning my son Jacob and I left Charlotte at about 8 AM headed to my beautiful home state of Alabama.  We were headed to Decatur, AL to pick up a Honda Scooter from my good friend Dr. Rob Jackson who is the pastor of Central Baptist.  

Our adventure got started as we got mooned by the giant peach in Gaffney, SC.

Then we made one of our many stops at Starbucks to keep my mind fueled.

Then we stopped at the Georgia welcome center on I-85 S and they were giving away freebies.  We got free lunch, gift certificates, coffee, computer bags, etc…  I do miss Georgia.

We made our way through Atlanta seeing old places we used to go like the Mall of Georgia, Downtown, Philips arena, Turner Field, Georgia Dome, Varsity, Guitar Center and Six Flags.

We drove by Talladega Motor Speedway which was funny because the big race is in Charlotte today.  I love Birmingham and north Alabama.  The scenery is beautiful. Birmingham holds a special place since it is where I met Cassandra.  

When we arrived in Decatur, Rob took us by Central Baptist’s new building.  God is doing amazing things through Rob’s leadership.  They are relocating to a Central place between Decatur and Hartselle, AL.  They bought and existing Savings and Loan office that is huge.  It sits on 29 acres and the amount they paid for this was what the land would have cost alone.  God gave them the building.  It will allow them to grow to 3000 in SS and worship.  WOW!  Rob is a great friend and I’m forever indebted to him and Tonya for making sure Cass and I got together.

Jacob and I loaded up the scooter and left Decatur about 4 PM EST.  We arrived in Birmingham and drove around were I used to work near the former Eastwood Mall (that was torn down and has a new shopping center).  My old employment, Longs Electronics is long gone.  We got back on the road and stopped once again at Starbucks in Oxford, AL.  They gave me free coffee!  

Then we drove around I-285 N and saw our old stomping grounds.  We miss Atlanta.  We stopped again in Commerce, GA so I could get more Starbucks so I wouldn’t fall asleep.  We gassed up in SC.  Their gas is .20 cheaper than Alabama, Georgia and NC.    At midnight we drove back by the peach and I was mooned again.

We arrived home safely about 1:10 AM and I slept late.  We got up and tried out the new scooter.  It has more power than you would think.  Later we met three couples from our church in Mobile for supper at Smokey Bones. They are here for the Coca-Cola 600.  It was great to see them.  Man am I tired!

We can hardly believe it has been six months since our life changed radically.  There has been a lot joy, pain, struggle and fun.  There have been victories and defeats.  If there is one word that describes our change it has been “GRACE.”  

However, we have felt more spiritual warfare the last 3 months than we ever have in a long time. We have experienced some semi-major health issues.  We have some more significant changes/decisions to make and we are dealing with rising costs just like the rest of you.  We did refinance our home to save some money.  In fact our house payment is our only debt that we have.  Praise God.  I’m leaving tomorrow to pick up a gas scooter from a friend to try to save even more money.

Our ministry has changed significantly.  I am doing about 5 different jobs at the church.  All of them are fulfilling but it is hard to juggle so many responsibilities.  We are seeing lives changed and it is exciting.  We are offering so much for a new church.  Of course, the economy is affecting the church too.  Our rent at the school goes up 70% beginning in July.  This will be a strain on our new fellowship.

We are grateful for those of you who have been praying for our ministry.  Most of you know we are raising much of our salary for this year.  We are humbled by those of you who have given sacrificially.  In fact, there are people I’ve never met supporting us financially and that is amazing and a testimony to God.  Here is where we need additional help.  With the rising costs of the church it is putting a strain on the church to make up the slack to pay us.  We have not quite gotten to the $3000 a month we need but the pastor has made sure we are being taken care of.  However, it may become difficult with the rising expenses of the church.  

I don’t feel comfortable asking but I will anyway because I know we are doing what God has asked us to do. If some of you would feel led to help us until December we know that God is going to take care of our needs. We stepped out in faith and we trust God will lay on the hearts those who can help.  All donations are tax deductible.  We would be grateful for any help you can give.  You can send your gift to: (write for the Busseys on your check.)

North Point Community Church

P.O. Box 680877

Charlotte, NC 28216

Again, we are grateful for your prayers and support.  Thanks for being a part of our lives.