Confessions of a Recovering Pharisee

Many of you know that I serve on staff at a new church in NW Charlotte.  I know God called us to serve here but unfortunately the church can’t bring on a full-time salaried person quite yet.  I’ve been looking all summer for a 2nd job. As most of you know I used to hang out at Starbucks every day to pray, read, study and meet people.  It was a great experience.  Unfortunately I haven’t been doing that since I resigned my former church for obvious reasons! $$$$

My wife and I were in Uptown (downtown for other cities) Charlotte walking around.  Uptown Charlotte is a cool place.  If we didn’t have children at home I would love to live there.  I love big cities and Uptown has the feel of a little NYC.  People are moving in droves to the condos and townhomes in Uptown.  While we were walking around I saw a competitor to Starbucks coffee shop that had a sign looking for employees.  So 2 days later I applied for a job.  I actually interviewed with the manager and participated in an in store experience.  I thought for sure the manager was going to offer me a job but he told me later that week that he wasn’t going to get to hire anyone until maybe the fall.

In the mean time I applied at another of the Starbucks competitors (online) in the building of the largest bank in America.  That was 3 weeks ago.  On Monday I called the 1st store back and asked if business had gotten better and he said no so I pretty much ruled it out.  Then on Tuesday I met my friend Mike Landrum at the Starbucks I used to go to on a regular basis and I was about to apply for a position there.  But I overheard the manager say that they were one of the casualties of the Starbucks closure.  I never realized that my stopping to hang out there would cause them to close!

After having lunch with Mike Landrum I got a call from the 2nd store manager of the Starbucks rival store and he wanted to meet with me.  He knows the other manager and he believes the reason he didn’t hire me was because of my faith.  But this manager has no problem with me.  So yesterday I did another in store experience and it was great. In fact the 1st manager walked in to get some straws and my new manger got a kick out of it.  I hold no grudge and know that God had His reasons.  I even had a chance to talk about God’s will vs. fate.  

I’m not there to convert people and I have no ulterior motives other than I need the money.  But I don’t believe God allows things to happen by accident.  I’m praying that my book, Confessions of a Recovering Pharisee will be accepted by the literary agent that I have been talking with.  But I already have another book in mind called “CONFESSIONS OF A BARISTA.” 

I can’t wait to the stories I will get from working in the real world.  I’m excited about working in Uptown Charlotte because I see a real need for God among the people who live and work there. Camey Gravley affectionately calls her husband the “Wal-Mart” pastor so maybe I can be the “Coffee Pastor.” Should be an interesting ride!

Matthew 10:39

Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.

What does that mean for those of us who live in the wealthiest country in the world?  Suffering for some of us is to cut out a vacation because of the economy.  Maybe we have to downsize or get a 2nd or 3rd job. But what about those in the world who have to give up everything to follow Jesus?  In Muslim countries if a person becomes a follower of Jesus they are disowned by their family.  In the eyes of their family they are dead.

So what does it mean to lose our lives here in the US?  What does it mean to take up our cross in the US?  Is suffering having to drop cable TV?  Is suffering having less Starbucks?  Somehow I think the American church has it all wrong (me included).

What have you lost for Jesus?

I don’t normally post music videos but our worship leader sent me this link.  When we think we have it it rough all we have to do is look at this.  The first video is the story behind the song.  The second is the song itself.  Powerful Testimony!
 

I’m curious what a safe or normal life looks or feels like.  I’ve never experienced it so I’m curious what it is like.  Since I was born I’ve never known normal.  My parents served in a faith based ministry and our income was dependent on God and the generosity of His people.  We had some lean times but we always were taken care of.  We never went on normal vacations yet we had supporters who sent us on vacations.  We had months were my parents weren’t receiving pay checks, yet we had more food than we could eat.  We never had the wealth of the world but we had love and excitement. 

My parents are still in a faith based ministry.  My brother and sister are not in vocational ministry but they are followers of Jesus and very active in their respective churches. But they live more normal lives then me. I was the crazy one who wasn’t satisfied with being a Coach/teacher or a businessman.  I had to live a life of reckless abandon.  What is wrong with me?  Is it a gene?  Is it a loose screw?  Or is it a call?

Sometimes I wonder what normal or safe feels like? I wonder what kind of harm I have allowed my family to endure? I wonder what it would be like to make a comfortable living and be active in my church as a layperson?  I wonder what it would be like to not risk?  I wonder what safe looks like?

What do you think?

Let me say that I’ve never heard God speak in an audible voice.  For those who have it makes hearing God easier.  But I have heard God speak to me through the years in various ways.  But there have been a few times where God spoke in my mind and heart unmistakably.  Friday at the Leadership Summit was one of those days.

For anyone who has met my wife Cassandra, you know what a special woman she is.  We have a special relationship that I can’t explain.  We are very connected spiritually and emotionally.  She is a gifted person in so many ways. I would dare say that there are people at many of the churches we served that were more upset that she left than me.

Almost everywhere we have served we have served separately.  We served in the same church but we would serve in different areas.  We thought that was OK because we were passionate about jumping in where we were needed.

When I was on staff in Jacksonville, NC I was being stretched in many directions so, Cass jumped in to lead the preschool department.  The personnel committee wanted to hire a full-time person but the pastor said why should we pay someone when we have Cassandra.  I didn’t think it was very funny.

When God called us to plant a church I should have been listening to what God was telling us.  We were assessed for church planting at the North American Mission Board (NAMB) and they told us that I scored well as a church planter but they gave us the highest rank you could get as a couple.  But we have never served in the same area together.

Then we interviewed with a mega church in Greensboro, NC a few years ago and the Executive Pastor couldn’t get over how well we worked together.   Later that summer we talked to another mega church in Austin, TX about starting a church with them.  During one of the interviews the Lead Pastor couldn’t stop smiling as he watched Cassandra and me talk.  He finally stopped and said you two are very connected.  He said he had never seen such a connection.  We laughed it off but have never served together in the same area.

Last year when we resigned our former church one of the reasons we decided to leave is that we wanted to serve as a family and not be divided on Sundays.  But again, each Sunday, I go one way and Cassandra goes another.  

Friday Cassandra was at home dealing with the AC people and I was telling our worship leader about it.  I joked and said they don’t want to mess with Cassandra because the Social Worker comes out in her and she is a bulldog when it comes to advocating for others –now she is advocating for us.  Susan made some comment about how talented Cassandra is and so did Lynn our other staff member.  Our pastor made a comment last week about how gifted Cassandra was as he watched her greeting people at a church event. Yet again, we weren’t serving together.

A few years ago Cassandra was over working in her volunteering so I tried to rescue her.  But I’ll never forget what she told me.  

She said, “have you ever thought that God has called me too?”

Wow, she was right.  Whenever she speaks she speaks with power.  She has a gift to speak to women.  She has them listening and before long they are in tears.  I joke and tell her she is “Beth Moore.”  She doesn’t like that. But she is that gifted.

So all of this is to tell you what God told me on Friday.  But really He has been telling me this for at least 10 years.  He told me while I was listening to Bill Hybels and then a video they showed at the Leadership Summit called “Here am I send me.”  What did God tell me?  

God said, “You and Cassandra are to be doing ministry together.”

Now I don’t know what this all means.  It won’t happen today or tomorrow. It may be a few years away.  But I heard God loud and clear. We are so much more effective (at least I am) when we work together. So I’m ready to see what God is going to do with all of this.