Confessions of a Recovering Pharisee

It is amazing to me how selfish we humans can be. We want what we want, when we want it. I think that is why God put certain rules in place when it came to morals. Now there are those who don’t believe in God who will say we should just let people live how they want to. But what about the hurt that it brings to others?

In recent years there have been stories of public figures in politics, religion, sports and entertainment who have hurt not only their reputation but hurt spouses and children. In the 1960’s people wanted to have sexual freedom to do whatever they want when they want. Yet God knew that sex was designed for a man and woman who are married to each other. For that reason, God said that fornication, adultery and homosexual acts are not to be tolerated.

But you don’t even have to believe the Bible to see how sexual relationships outside of marriage hurts people. Just think about how the reputations of John F. Kennedy, Ted Kennedy and Bill Clinton. New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer was cheating on his wife with a prostitute when he was supposedly cleaning up the government. But this isn’t a democratic problem only because we have recent indiscretions of Gov. Mark Sanford of SC.

Religious leaders are just as guilty and that is a shame. I could rattle off a list of people from Jim Bakker to Ted Haggard. We in the Christian community should be the last people caught in these situations.

Sports and entertainment seem to be breeding grounds for infidelity and illicit sex. WIlt Chamberlain bragged about his sexual conquests and my favorite basketball player ever, Magic Johnson acquired HIV from his lifestyle. In recent years Kobe Bryant and Ben Roethlisberger have been accused of forcing women to have sex. We will never know if they were rape or not but if these men had kept their pants on this would have never happened to them. Then there are the hoards of athletes that have fathered dozens of children by different women.

The most recent celebrity to stray is Rick Pitino. I always admired coach Pitino for the men that he has groomed to play basketball and prepare them for life. He wrote a book years ago called Success is a Choice where he talks about integrity and character. Yet it is now coming to light that he has cheated on his wife at least once. Rumors in KY say it might be more. The woman he cheated with in 2003 claims that she got pregnant and Pitino payed for her abortion. Who knows if she really was pregnant but Pitino has caused lots of pain to his wife, children and his University.

Here is the deal. Even if people don’t believe in God, His principles will keep people out of trouble. If all of the people I mentioned above stayed faithful in marriage to one person and their spouse did too they would not have these scandals. They would not be sued and have their reputations tarnished. This is a reminder to me to keep my life pure and that I’m not above falling into sin.

Maybe we can take lessons from AC Green who remained a virgin while playing in the NBA. What a testimony he has for God. Then there is Albert Pujols who won’t even get in an elevator with a woman by himself so there is no appearance of evil. There are those who say the Bible is old fashioned and out of date. However, I believe it has more current advice than ever.

What do you think?

[Today on NBC]

This is from an article by Sandra Tsing Loh

Sadly, and to my horror, I am divorcing. This was a 20-year partnership. My husband is a good man, though he did travel 20 weeks a year for work. I am a 47-year-old woman whose commitment to monogamy, at the very end, came unglued. This turn of events was a surprise. I don’t generally even enjoy men; I had an entirely manageable life and planned to go to my grave taking with me, as I do most nights to my bed, a glass of merlot and a good book. Cataclysmically changed, I disclosed everything. We cried, we bewailed the fate of our children.

Read the article here.

Watch the video below too:

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[From me]

First, I’ve been blessed to be married 21 years so my answer is no. But as I read the article by Sandra Tsing Loh, I was struck by a few things. First it is obvious that both she and her husband care about their careers more than their marriage. Two, she is saying marriage doesn’t work after she had an affair. Is that her husbands’ fault? She claims that we don’t need marriage because it was for women before they got equal rights. That sounds like a business decision.

I didn’t get married to have someone take care of my children and put food on the table. I got married because I wanted to spend my life with a person I love. I know people who have been through divorces for many reasons. Most of them get remarried because they do believe in marriage and they never wanted a divorce. Marriage is hard work and some people don’t want to work at being married. If one partner says I’m done there isn’t much the other can do. Is marriage obsolete? Only if you want it to be.

What do you think?

I don’t get to read blogs as much as I used to. My new ministry keeps me in the workplace for much of the week and I don’t get on after 5 or 6 at night anymore. So I was a little behind the times when I heard about a dynamic Christian leader who had a moral failure and resigned this week. I won’t mention his name but he is very well known in the social networking scene.

I first encountered him in 2002 when he called me to inquire about planting a church in the same town we were in NW Atlanta.  He was surprised to know there was a new church already meeting in the movie theater. We stayed in contact over the years mainly through email, facebook, blogs and twitter. 

Our church eventually ran out of money and we moved away.  He moved in and actually started meeting in the same theater.  He was kind to me and said that our church softened up the community for what they were doing. I was truly grateful for what God was doing through his church plant. They have led 100’s of people to Christ!  He has been extremely influential to other church planters.  I will pray for him, his family and the other woman involved and the church.  I can’t imagine how disheartening this must be to the church and especially new believers.

I often wondered why God did not allow our church to thrive like his. I began to think some leaders just have “IT.” I had a former boss who had a national failing last year and it felt like a kick in the gut.  This latest falling has had a similar effect. When I read his resignation I became physically sick. Maybe God has not allowed me to be a well known and successful pastor because I wouldn’t be able to handle it. This is the 5-6th major church leader who has had a public moral failure in the last 3-4 years.  Every time it cause me to drop to my knees and pray for them and to pray that I put the proper safeguards in place. 

I will continue to pray for pastors and staff members everywhere!

What do you think?

[CNS]

Disgraced pastor Ted Haggard says he wanted his wife to divorce him after a sex scandal involving another man, but she refused. Haggard made the comments in a two-part episode of the syndicated television show “Divorce Court” to be broadcast April 1-2. The show released a partial transcript Tuesday.
 
Haggard resigned as pastor of New Life Church in Colorado Springs and as president of the National Association of Evangelicals after a male prostitute from Denver alleged a cash-for-sex relationship with him in November 2006.
 
Haggard confessed to “sexual immorality.” Both Haggard and his wife Gayle appear on “Divorce Court,” but her comments about the possibility of a divorce weren’t released.
 
Ted Haggard said he wasn’t rejecting his wife but thought he had become so “toxic” that divorce was best for her and their children. He said she replied, “No way. I’m not going to do that.”

Read more here.

[From me]

Say what you want about Ted Haggard but his wife sounds like the real deal. I can’t imagine the humiliation she has endured.  I am more impressed with her every time I read about her and her faith in Christ.

What do you think?

[World Net Daily]

A North Carolina judge has ordered three children to attend public schools this fall because the homeschooling their mother has provided over the last four years needs to be “challenged.” The children, however, have tested above their grade levels – by as much as two years.

The decision is raising eyebrows among homeschooling families, and one friend of the mother has launched a website to publicize the issue. The ruling was made by Judge Ned Mangum of Wake County, who was handling a divorce proceeding for Thomas and Venessa Mills.

A statement released by a publicist working for the mother, whose children now are 10, 11 and 12, said Mangum stripped her of her right to decide what is best for her children’s education.

The judge, when contacted by WND, explained his goal in ordering the children to register and attend a public school was to make sure they have a “more well-rounded education.”

“I thought Ms. Mills had done a good job [in homeschooling],” he said. “It was great for them to have that access, and [I had] no problems with homeschooling. I said public schooling would be a good complement.”

The judge said the husband has not been supportive of his wife’s homeschooling, and “it accomplished its purposes. It now was appropriate to have them back in public school.”

Mangum said he made the determination on his guiding principle, “What’s in the best interest of the minor children,” and conceded it was putting his judgment in place of the mother’s.

Read more here.

[From me]

How can a judge decide what is best for these children? They tested 2 grades higher by homeschooling!  Well rounded? What does that mean? To get a liberal agenda shoved down their throats? Is homeschooling for everyone? No, but it is not the job of the government to raise our children–it is the parents! Watch out it is only going to get worse if we don’t stop our out of control government!

What do you think?