Dec 01 2008
Moving….
If someone says they enjoy moving they have to be crazy. I’ve lived all over the country with my parents and now as an adult. I guess it makes me adapt well to new surroundings and such. But I really don’t have a hometown. I consider Tuscaloosa, AL home because I finished elementary school through high school there. It was an exciting time to live there because of the Alabama Football team under Coach Paul Bear Bryant.
But my parents moved to Orange, TX my Senior year of college and then to Greenville, SC and then the last 10 years in Columbia, SC. So when I go to see my parents it isn’t going “home” like many people. Until Facebook I hadn’t had contact with any of my friends from Tuscaloosa and that has been in the last year. I don’t get back there because I don’t have family there.
With our upcoming move back to Birmingham I’m praying it is the last….At least for a long time. It is hard to make money from moves. It cost a fortune setting up power, gas, water, etc… Then you have to get new driver’s licenses and tags and, and, etc…You get the point. I think we ought to get a frequent sellers card with Realtors. Maybe we could get some cash back. I know those in the military move much more than other people. But being vocational ministry rarely allows people to set down roots. I don’t have any bitterness towards my childhood moves. I do wish I still had family in Tuscaloosa to give me a reason other than football to go back. But moving a lot caused me to interact with everyone. It probably made me less likely to build deep relationships because everything was temporary.
I just pray my children will see benefits of being able to adapt like I have. Moving stinks. There is nothing enjoyable about the move itself. The kids have to say goodbye again. I’ll never forget watching Jacob stare out the back window of our van the night we said goodbye in Mobile. I can’t take much more of that. We don’t like saying goodbye. I guess we have a lot of friends all over the country and that is good.
We are looking forward to being back where Cass and I grew up and met. It will be great being able to see old college and high school friends. I’m excited about the ministry I’m working for and the future. But, I dread the process of selling another home, packing up and moving. As of this post, we have yet to have even one person look at our home. We live in a nice lakefront community (our house isn’t on the lake) but with the economy the way it is –not one look.
I don’t know what else to say but moving is no fun. It is just over 3 weeks before we leave. I guess unless something changes we will move to a furnished apartment while we wait on our home in Charlotte to sell. If anyone knows of a house we can sit for in Birmingham, let me know. Or if you know of a cheap place we can stay temporarily until our house sells.
I know things will pick up and there are so many great things about to happen. We just need to get back to Bama so we can see them. Just for now–Moving stinks!
![[del.icio.us]](http://images.del.icio.us/static/img/delicious.small.gif){kind=small}
6 responses so far
Kevin,
I can empathize with you. My younger daughter, who is now 9 years old, has lived in 6 different COUNTRIES!
We have moved internationally 6 times: USA > Guinea > Senegal > Cote d’Ivoire > Thailand > Hong Kong > USA. My kids actually went to school for three years in a row in Thailand. They consider that home as much as any place else. My older daughter, when asked where “home” was replied, “Where your suitcases are”.
But you are right: moving stinks! I hope we are in one place at least long enough for them to finish school here. That would be nice. (for all of us)
Rick Boyne’s last blog post..Wintry Weather
Kevin,
Oh brother, the “moving stories” I could tell you! In my first year in the United States Air Force, I moved 5 times…in a ten-year period, I lived in California twice, Colorado, Texas twice, South Korea, and Norway.
Oh yes…the nightmares of moving.
But we have to remember…this world is not our home, we are just passing through!
Phil Hoover’s last blog post..A Prayer for the "Stressed Out" Christian
I feel for you man.
Who would’ve thought - Recovering Pharisees also have to box things up when they move. lol
Cheers,
210 Leadership Blog’s last blog post..WHY RICHARD BRANSON MAKES ME WANNA BE GREAT IN THIS GENERATION: Inside One Billionaire’s Secret To Success
We moved a bunch the first 1 1/2 year of our marriage, so when we finally bought a house, I was determined to not move. I’ve lived in the same house since November 1978!
Kevin,
Below are some of the Benefits and Drawbacks military and “Third Culture Kids” face.
Two great books on this issue are:
1. “Military Brats” - Wertsch
2. “Third Culture Kids” - Pollock and Van Reken
I am a military Brat myself and help a lot of military families now.
Drawbacks of being a TCK
1. Rootlessness
a. Insecurity - Don’t belong – Where do I fit?
b. Home is always elsewhere
c. Change schools and later, careers quickly
d. Can be restless and change relationships quickly too
e. Make relationships quickly but view them as short term
f. Hard to make long term commitments
g. Internal clock goes off with desire to move on - Restlessness
h. Guarded – keeps margin of safety
i. Fear harm to parents
j. Unresolved grief and sadness
1.) Loss of friends – relatives – pets
2.) Didn’t say goodbyes well
3.) Signs of depression may occur months later
k. Ahead and out of phase with peers in development
2. Benefits of being a TCK
a. Linguistic ability – Quick learners
b. High flexibility – Independent - Ability to cope
c. Mobility - Can move quickly - Becomes a habit for life
d. Cross cultural skills – Chameleons (Blend in)
e. Three dimensional world view –
Interest in other cultures and people
f. Mature and worldly wise
g. Family closeness
h. International and national orientation
i. Makes friends easily and quickly
j. Know how to end friendships quickly too!
k. High sense of patriotism
l. Relates well to adults
3. These traits can be highly valued by people.
Frank
Moving is really awful. We have already changed one house, and now my wife wants to buy another flat. I’ve already spent 2 weeks choosing the appropriate one on http://www.fizber.com/ and it’s only choosing! And the worst things are still in the future!