Jul 25 2008
Liar
Until our church gets off the ground I’ve had to raise half of our financial support. Unfortunately it hasn’t been quite enough. So I began searching outside opportunities to make money.
One thing I’ve learned is that people lie. Now I realize that comes as no surprise since the devil lied in the Garden of Eden. Abraham lied as did Jacob and King David. Look, I’ve lied. But why do we do that?
I applied for one place that would have been ideal for me. The man said he would call me on the following Monday. He didn’t call so I called him. I called him everyday for a week before I got the hint. Why did he lie? Just tell me the truth, I can handle it.
Now what I do is call on people who are twice confirmed before I drive out to see them. I drove a long way to see this gentleman and was there on time. When I arrived he wasn’t there and when I got him on the phone he said he never made the appointment. Yet, when I called the office, they played me a tape recording of this man agreeing to meet with me.
Why do we lie? Wouldn’t it be easier just to say I can’t meet with you? Wouldn’t be easier to tell people the painful truth rather than lie and make it worse later? If you can’t trust someone’s word, what can you trust?
19 responses so far
Pride is at the root of it, like virtually every other sin. Too proud to inconvenience themselves for someone else, or to appear inconsistent and say they changed their minds, or wanting to be popular with you for the moment.
I prayed that you would find the right job, and soon. And that’s no lie!
Neil’s last blog post..Weekly roundup
For some reason, we have an idea that lying makes the medicine easier to take, almost like adding cherry flavoring to the worse taking prescription. Yet, we all know it just masks the pain, not take it away.
I’m sorry you are experiencing these lies. I guess most of us have been where you are.
In the past, during my days as a pastor, I would have pastor search committees call me, interview me on the phone, and end the conversation by saying, “We’ll be back in touch with you soon!” Well, those churches must still be looking for a pastor, even 15 years later, because I still haven’t received a call from them! Thanking me for my time. Thanking me for my interest. Thanking me for my interview. Telling me they loved me, but are moving another direction. Telling me they hated me and would never hire me as their pastor. Nothing.
Kevin, I’m with you. I’d rather have the truth, no matter what the truth is! Like Fox Moulder in the X-Files, I know the truth is out there. And unlike what Jack Nicholson said, I can handle the truth!”
Folks, just tell the truth! As my mother often said, “When you tell the truth, you don’t have to worry about what lie to tell the next time!” Pretty good advice!
Kevin, God has a plan for you. I have no doubt. I know that doesn’t help to pay the bills, but it is still true. Wait upon Him. Trust Him.
After all, I’m glad these liars showed you what they are NOW rather than AFTER you went to work for them and found out what low lifes they really are!
M. Steve Heartsill’s last blog post..Perception vs. Reality on the Car Lot of Life
People never lie! (tee hee),
Now THERE’S a self-defeating statement for you.
Bob Cleveland’s last blog post..Confessions of (Another) Baptist Charismatic
M. Steve Heartsill,
The pastor search committees didn’t lie to you. In fact, pastor search committees always respond - there responses are always: “yes”, “no”, or “wait”.
I have had those same experiences Steve has had. I had one that I found out later had a man getting in his car to come meet me and hear me preach only to be told that they weren’t interested in me anymore. When he asked if I had been told he was told yes. Come to find out the interim had his own designs, never told me, and never sent back my info. I wanted to say to him, “Liar, liar, pants on fire!” (Mautre of me isn’t it?)
Like you and Steve have stated: tell me the truth. Don’t pussyfoot with me. Don’t string me along. Say it and get it over with. I can remember my mom telling me that telling the truth may hurt initially but a lie goes on.
Bill (cycleguy)’s last blog post..A Quote for Your Thoughts
A3….They would not have been liars if they had actually called back soon! However, I’m still waiting on one of those churches who called me in 1986! I guess “soon” can be defined in many ways, huh?
A3…I believe that I have a little more experience with pastor search committees than you. Could be wrong. If so, feel free to call me a liar.
M. Steve Heartsill’s last blog post..Perception vs. Reality on the Car Lot of Life
Kevin,
I am so sorry to hear this has happened to you. And yes, our “YES” must be “YES” and our “NO” must be “NO”…and our word MUST be our “bond.”
Thanks for sharing.
Phil Hoover’s last blog post..“Because I care….”
It’s a sad subject. One I’d be happy to discuss further with you, if you would just sign this release of legal liability first…(grin)
jimmy paravane’s last blog post..looking a gift horse in the mouth
M. Steve Heartsill,
I think you may have misunderstood my remark - it was a sarcastic jab at how Christians often claim that God always answers prayer with either “yes”, “no”, or “wait”. I added the “winky-face” just in case it wasn’t clear that my comment was meant as sarcasm
It may be less about lying and more about how much people hate to be asked for jobs or cash donations? If I’m understanding the blog entry right.
Hugh…I think you missed the point of the post.
M. Steve Heartsill’s last blog post..Perception vs. Reality on the Car Lot of Life
Lets just say that today confirmed this post twice!
Kevin Bussey’s last blog post..Liar
I have a confession - I was on the other end of the “lie” in the past. I was responsible for hiring our sales staff when I worked for a new home construction company. I did the “lie” - “I’ll call you later this week with our decision” and then never did. I don’t think I ever did it out of spite - it was really because I was very, very busy. I also think there is an assumption that if you don’t call people, they will take the hint. Now that the construction industry has declined, I have been looking for a job and I don’t ever call prospective employers after an interview. I take for granted that if they want me, they will contact me. That’s not what is taught in the “how-to” books, but it is reality most of the time.
None of this makes it right - I just thought I would offer some perspective from the other side of the table. My prayers that you will find a job soon. Do you have information on how people can contribute to your support on the website? If not, this may help.
Thanks Victor,
I’ve lied before and I’m sure I will again. I’m just wondering why we don’t just tell the truth and avoid whatever problems may come from it.
Here is the info you asked for:
North Point Community Church
P.O. Box 680877
Charlotte, NC 28216
Phone: 704-533-0223
E-mail: don.mccollum@northpointcharlotte.org
http://www.northpointcharlotte.org
Kevin Bussey’s last blog post..Liar
We generally lie to ourselves telling ourselves that we lie to protect the other from pain or difficulty. What we really are doing is lying to protect ourself most of the time.
A good employee hiring process should say that they will call back if interested that way it is stated and no one has to be protected. If you want to be considered for the position, then doing the follow is important if they have many to interview. Clearly most job hiring occurs through networking which makes hearing truths even more difficult on both sides of the job process.
The who lying thing makes me want to sing that old kid song “Revelations, Revelations 21:8 21:8, Liars go to hell, liars go to hell, burn burn burn, burn burn burn.” Yeah I still can’t believe we learned to do that as kids…not the best scripture to memorize since we normally said it to others.
I just wrote about lying in my most recent blog. It is called People of Our Word and can be accessed by clicking on the blog title at the end of this response. It explains how I feel about lying (it even involves the government and football).
I too am sorry that you are going through this K. One of the saddest examples is also when people promise (pledge) support to a cause (mission,missionary, building, or otherwise) and then renege on that commitment. Wish I had the extra cash to send some along to you.
Bill(cycleguy)’s last blog post..People of Our Word
Bill,
No one has lied about support. This had nothing to do with that. I’m grateful for those who are/have supported us. Everyone did as they said or more.
I’m talking about all lying & I’ve been guilty myself. Maybe this is my discipline for past lies. Maybe this will be a great illustration or future book.
K,
Sorry if it sounded like I was accusing some of not keeping their commitment to you. I should have started a new paragraph. As a pastor I have seen that happen. I was making a general statement. Sorry for the misunderstanding.
And I would add: Lie? Who me?
Bill(cycleguy)’s last blog post..People of Our Word
Bill,
I didn’t think you implied that. I just don’t want anyone thinking I meant that.