Jun 07 2008
The uncensored Bible?
Examine Bible stories top to bottom — particularly the “bottoms” — and you will find a blue vein of sexual and scatological humor not-so-hidden in the verses, say two scholars of Hebrew Scriptures and an evangelical satire writer. Their new book, The Uncensored Bible: The Bawdy and Naughty Bits of the Good Book, in stores Monday, raises such questions as “Which ‘bone’ was Eve made from?”
Or whether, in the Book of Judges, a king’s assassin escapes through a latrine in a tale laden with euphemisms for feces.
Because the Bible addresses humanity body and soul, there’s nothing sacrilegious about examining every aspect of human nature under heaven, say scholars Steven McKenzie, professor of Hebrew Bible at Rhodes College, a liberal arts college in Memphis affiliated with the Presbyterian Church USA, and John Kaltner, an associate professor of religious studies at Rhodes.
Joel Kilpatrick, founder of LarkNews.com, a Christian satire site that reads like a cross between The Onion and an evangelical church bulletin, took their manuscript and did a humorous write-through. His earlier book for Uncensored’s publisher, HarperOne, was the gently mocking A Field Guide to Evangelicals and their Habitat.
Read more here.
[From me]
Man, if they needed wacky ideas all they had to do is write a book about the posts on here with Bill the Mormon!
What do you think?
7 responses so far
From that “wacky” Book of Mormon…
2 Nephi 28: 9, 12, 15
9 Yea, and there shall be many which shall teach after this manner, false and vain and foolish doctrines, and shall be puffed up in their hearts, and shall seek deep to hide their counsels from the Lord; and their works shall be in the dark.
• • •
12 Because of pride, and because of false teachers, and false doctrine, their churches have become corrupted, and their churches are lifted up; because of pride they are puffed up.
• • •
15 O the wise, and the learned, and the rich, that are puffed up in the pride of their hearts, and all those who preach false doctrines, and all those who commit whoredoms, and pervert the right way of the Lord, wo, wo, wo be unto them, saith the Lord God Almighty, for they shall be thrust down to hell!
That “wacky” book of Mormon doesn’t hold up to scrutiny or truth.
Bill(cycleguy)’s last blog post..State of Emergency
Bill The Mormon,
Now that is funny!
Kevin Bussey’s last blog post..The uncensored Bible?
Mormonism vs. Christianity
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Mormonism has been and continues to be criticized by some Christian fundamentalists because of its peculiar beliefs and doctrines. Although many of the doctrines do strongly distinguish Mormonism from any other Christian faith, the belief that Jesus of Nazareth is the Christ, the Lord and Savior of all mankind, includes Mormonism in Christianity.
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has been nicknamed the “Mormon” Church because of its inclusion of the Book of Mormon in its canonical scriptures beside the Bible. The circumstances under which The Book of Mormon came to be are essential to understanding the divide that sometimes exists between Mormons and the rest of Christendom. The criticisms began when Joseph Smith, the founder of the church, claimed visitations from angels in the early 1800s, due to the popular belief among Christianity that miracles and revelation had ceased when the Lord ascended into heaven. The sentiment increased when Smith began translating The Book of Mormon from ancient documents shown to him by an angel. Those who consider the Bible to be the whole of all God’s word see The Book of Mormon as a violation of Christianity.
Another key tenet of the Mormon faith that challenges the rest of Christianity is priesthood authority. In Hebrews 5:4 it is written, “And no man taketh this honor unto himself, but he that is called of God, as was Aaron.” Mormonism believes that the authority to officiate in the name of God, the priesthood, must be bestowed by the Lord Himself, Jesus Christ, to His servants, and then they may give it to others, in a top-down, hierarchical manner. Mormons believe this authority was lost after Jesus ascended and His apostles were martyred. By implication this means that the rest of Christianity is practicing without the authority of God. One of the angelic visitations that Joseph Smith received was Peter, James, and John of the original Twelve Apostles. They gave him the authority of the priesthood that Jesus had given them. This further distinguishes Mormonism from Protestantism, because the Mormon Church is not participating in the reformation, but is a church restored under the authority of Jesus Christ by His apostles. The Mormon Church claims continuing revelation under this authority. The president of the Church is the Lord’s prophet on earth, and has been from Joseph Smith to the current president, Thomas S. Monson. As the only church claiming modern revelation and a living prophet, Mormonism stands apart from the rest of Christianity.
Through modern revelation from Joseph Smith to the current president of the church, many doctrines have been clarified that Christianity has misunderstood or altered since the death of the apostles. This has been pointed out by critics as a departure from Christianity, but Mormonism sees it as a restoration of the Lord’s gospel. Such doctrines as the nature of the Godhead or Trinity, the eternal nature of the soul, the afterlife, and the purpose of this mortal life are distinctly different from every other Christian sect. (See Mormon Doctrine - An Introduction.
Mormonism’s central belief is that Jesus Christ is the Son of God; he died for the sins of the world and rose the third day so that all might be saved through faith on Him.
Steve Young and Sharlene Hawkes talk about misconceptions regarding the Church
Just imagine that guy preaching that sermon about wee-weeing on a wall, from THIS translation.
The mind boggles.
Bob Cleveland’s last blog post..Respect. LOTS & LOTS of Respect.
According to Revelation 22 prophecy is done with. There is no need for a “prophet” or “more prophecy” especially from someone as “wacked” and dis-proven like Joseph Smith. Sorry Bill. No amount of cut and paste and no amount of rationalization and no amount of further “prophecy” and no amount of false doctrine will be able to convince that Mormonism is part of Christianity. Furthermore there is no need for a priesthood. Jesus, and Jesus alone, was our prophet, priest and king and when He said “It is finished” all things were done for the salvation of sinful man. “There is only one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus, who gave himself as a ransom for all.” 2 Tim.2:5-6
Bill(cycleguy)’s last blog post..An Update on our State of Emergency
Cycle guy,
That is great for you, but Jesus said His sheep hear his voice. So not everyone on earth has hardened their hearts to the true teachings of the Lord.
Furthermore, if a priesthood is not needed, WHO is to lead Jesus’s church (here on earth) until his return??? Right now, it looks like mass chaos.
Do you suppose that with all the christian denominations and factions within those denominations all fighting and fingerpointing with each other, that the Savior is happy with the chaos?
His house is a house of order, and what I’ve mentioned above is anything but that.
How can so many churches (which each have varying doctrine) ALL be of one heart, mind, and spirit…yet…remain his true church.
If Jesus is the bridegroom, and his flock are the bride…then WHO heads your church?
Where did all various names come from? His sits at the head of His church…as we learn in Ephesians 5:23
23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
His children are to have the fruits of the spirit..those attributes which clearly mark them as FOLLOWERS of Jesus Christ…or…His church.
Followership (or discipleship) means that we FOLLOW Jesus Christ.
We are to strive to be just like him.
Now finally, I DO NOT have to convince anyone that what I say is true.
God is about to preach his own sermons and pour out His own judgements now, and as false church after false church crumbles to the ground…
His real sheep (mentioned earlier) will hear His voice, and from the dark abyss of bondage that has held them captive for so long, will they rush to the light and truth.
John 10: 3, 16, 27
3 To him the porter openeth; and the sheep hear his voice: and he calleth his own sheep by name, and leadeth them out.
• • •
16 And other sheep I have, which are not of this fold: them also I must bring, and they shall hear my voice; and there shall be one fold, and one shepherd.
• • •
27 My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me:
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