Apr 05 2008
Christian Divorce Rate Identical to National Average
After months of revived debate over divorce and its increasing acceptance among Americans, a new study affirmed born again Christians are just as likely as the average American couple to divorce.
The Barna Group found in its latest study that born again Christians who are not evangelical were indistinguishable from the national average on the matter of divorce with 33 percent having married and divorced at least once. Among all born again Christians, which includes evangelicals, the divorce figure is 32 percent, which is statistically identical to the 33 percent figure among non-born again adults, the research group noted.
“There no longer seems to be much of a stigma attached to divorce; it is now seen as an unavoidable rite of passage,” George Barna, who directed the study, stated in the study, which was released Monday.
Read about it here.
[From me]
What can you say? Sad. You would think that people would take their marriages more seriously because of their faith. Love isn’t a feeling–it is an action.
What do you think?
12 responses so far
I wonder if similar statistics apply to the other things that God hates, going on within the church.
When someone says the “price is too high’ .. as in living a consecrated life before the Lord .. they’re saying “the value is too low”. I think one cause of that may be dumbing down Christianity to a nice relationship with a guy who’s been (physically, I know) dead for 2,000 years.
Bob Cleveland’s last blog post..Because I Don’t Know Any Better I Want To
I am saddened by this statistics. I have seen divorce wreck havoc in small churches as members who were related to the parties involved picked sides. We must start taking steps to correct this problem.
Quinn Hooks’s last blog post..Walmart Drops Suit
In today’s world, marriage is not seen as convenant between God, the husband and the wife. It is seen as a contract that can be broken if one of the parties is unhappy and wants out. Just like anyone may agree to a contract on their cell phone plan. Marriage is not the same. It should not be treated the same. First comes our individual relationship with God… and then our spouses. It should be like a triangle with God as the head and at the top. Any time He isn’t at the top - the marriage cannot be all that God intends for it be. A spouse is not meant to complete you. Just like a child or job is not meant to either. The only way a person is complete is through God who created us.
For the Christ follower who is married: Every day is a commitment to follow Christ. Every day is a commitment to be married. I’ll stop there for the moment. One of my favorite subjects to teach on, speak on, write about, - most importantly live out daily. Hubby’s too.
Camey’s last blog post..unChristian - The Book
A result of syncretism.
His Kingdom come,
From the Middle East
From the Middle East’s last blog post..two new friendships
We live such seperate lives in the states. We have our faith, work, school, play and they’re all seperate, they don’t interact. The friendships don’t interact either. I can have an entirely different world at work than at home and no one will know. The other thing is that we’re afraid of them interacting. It’s wrong to talk about faith at work….”you have your beliefs and I have mine….stop talking about it.” So there’s a significant disconnect in our lives. After living in the middle east where everything interacts, friendships, beliefs. It’s normal to talk about faith issues with anyone. I think this disconnect is part of what leads to the significant divorce rate.
Camel Rider’s last blog post..Friday is for fotos
I am one of those statistics. I first married as an unbeliever to another unbeliever. I suffered through 3 years of abuse and adultery from him. I finally gathered the courage to leave him and file for a divorce. During this time, I became a born again Christian. I was going to a Christian counselor and felt convicted to try working on the marriage. After 2 more years of abuse and adultery despite counseling, the marriage continued to fail. In the end, he did abandon us. I was essentially a single unemployed mom still married. We finally divorced. (That’s the extreme Reader’s Digest version.
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I have since remarried and have a God-based marriage with a solid Christian. My 1st marriage was awful but it led to my salvation and change in thoughts. (I was pro-choice, liberal, feminist, etc… you wouldn’t have known that as I have very conservative viewpoints now!) I honestly wouldn’t have appreciated my husband now if I had not been through the fire of adversity.
I guess my point is that we need balance. Unless someone talks about why they are divorced, we can’t pass judgment on them. We don’t need to condone divorce but we do need to extend grace. God can and does use these circumstances to change people’s lives.
Christine’s last blog post..Two for Three
I think this disconnect is part of what leads to the significant divorce rate.
I agree. No accountability.
Everyone thought my ex-husband was the most charming man. They didn’t know what he did behind closed doors.
Christine’s last blog post..Two for Three
Christine,
I’m sorry for your pain. I wouldn’t consider you in that stat. You are a new creation now. Plus divorce is unfortunately necessary esp. w/ abuse.
My concern is 2 believers who get married & don’t remain committed.
Christine,
I am so sorry for what you endured through your first marriage. Sounds like God has and is continuing to do a wonderful work in your life since divorcing. Thank you for sharing.
Camel Rider,
Could not agree with you more. That’s why it is necessary to view life as moments together and not separated compartments.
From the middle east,
Thank you for your stories.
Kevin - hubby says hello. And thanks for posting on this subject.
You all were just prayed for!
Camey’s last blog post..Connectivity
I’d like to offer a few suggestions that are undoubtedly different than what I think most people are saying here, and that are different from what you will hear in the church. What I have to say here is based upon my own observations and my own listening to other people, as well as my own analysis of biblical truth.
I don’t think the root of the problem is lack of accountability. I don’t think the root of the problem is lack of commitment or lack of love. Those things may be missing, but they’re not the root of the problem, and I’ll explain why I think that way.
In short, I think the root of the problem is that the foundation of God’s grace is sorely missing in the church today. The church today is rooted in rules and principles, and is not rooted in grace. The church today is trying to correct behavior, when what is really needed is for hearts to become established in grace (Heb 13:9). Hearts established in grace don’t need rules to follow in order to have have good fruit (such as a good marriage). When hearts are rooted and established in grace, they see other people (such as their spouses) in a completely different light. Other people become objects of real love and affection, and not projects that they need to work on. If you truly love someone, you don’t need anyone to hold you accountable to your love! Commitment becomes a fruit of a heart established in grace (not the root of a good marriage). I think one of the main problems is that there is a lack of genuine love in the church. The reason is because the mechanics of Christian living are primarily what is taught, and there is no real love in going through the motions, no matter how “good” the motions appear.
How does a person get rooted and established in grace, and how do they become real lovers of people? By soaking in the lavish love and grace of God, and by stopping the ACT of trying to be holy!
When the constant teaching in the church is behavior modification - even if the behavior that’s being preached is “good” - hearts become established in should’s and shouldn’t’s and do’s and don’t’s. It seems as if people think they need to be taught what to do and what not to do, and then to ask God for grace to help them do it. But that sells grace far, far short!
Would it be fairly accurate for me to say that principles for Christian living are the primary focus in pastor’s sermons these days? That’s been my experience in the evangelical church. (This is also my observation on Christian talk radio and TV). And so… with the constant teaching of how to live like a good Christian - why are so many Christians failing??? And for the purposes of this conversation, the question becomes, why are so many Christian marriages failing?
I know the knee jerk reaction is what I just mentioned. “They just aren’t committed.” “They need accountability.” I’m sorry, but all the preaching and teaching in the world that’s geared towards trying to get people to be committed and to be accountable simply has NO power to cause people to live that way! You can preach it day in and day out, but it won’t work!
Some people do have “positively” programmed flesh, and will be “better” at commitment than others. They hear the rules and principles and they go out and do their best to do them. They may be doing all this in the power of the Spirit, but in many cases they are doing it through the strength of their positively programmed flesh. Either way, they look down on all the other people who can’t seem to get the rules and principles straight, and they think the problem is that those people are lacking in commitment to Christian principles and to their spouses.
But that ain’t helpin’ nobody!
Grace, grace, grace. And when that’s done, more grace! We need to get people off the performance treadmill and into the rest of God, and He can begin to transform their hearts by His grace. Instead of following lifeless principles, they will begin to walk in real Life!
As usual, sorry so long here. I haven’t commented lately, because I know I tend to be long.
This particular conversation, however, is right up my alley because I dealt with marriage issues a few years back and I have seen the difference pure grace truly makes.
Joel Brueseke’s last blog post..Tony Vincent in Jesus Christ Superstar
Joel,
I agree we should be teaching more grace. That is why I am serving at at Grace-filled church.
Kevin Bussey’s last blog post..Christian Divorce Rate Identical to National Average
Kevin, I’ll bet it truly is a blessing to be a part of a grace-filled church!
Grace is the power in the life of the believer to live a Spirit-led, godly life. I think many Christians today know all the do’s and don’ts - through hearing them preached every week - but they don’t have a clue who they really are in Christ. All the biblical knowledge and principles that are being taught are giving them a bunch of external changes to try to make in their lives, but yet aren’t really doing them a whole lot of good - as evidenced by the multitude of divorces and other sins - because they don’t really know the power of grace. The Bible says, “sin shall not have dominion over you, because you are not under law but under grace.” I personally think there is so much sin in the church because the leaven of law is ruining the whole batch of dough, so I fully agree with you that we need more grace teaching. 
Joel Brueseke’s last blog post..Tony Vincent in Jesus Christ Superstar