Confessions of a Recovering Pharisee

Yesterday Scott Freeman asked what if Cho Seung-Hui had received an extra hug would it have made a difference at Virginia Tech? Who knows but I wonder if Scott was right. I deal with people on a regular basis who just don’t feel loved. I mentioned yesterday about the young man who killed himself. It was because he felt unloved by a girl. Would an extra hug have made a difference?

I’m blessed to have a group of serial huggers at my church. I kid you not these smiling ladies are waiting every time I see them to hug me. Not only do they hug, they about break my ribs. They hug everyone and you know what? It makes you feel loved and cared about.

Would a hug have made a difference in Cho Seung-Hui or the young boy here in Charlotte? Only God knows. But what about the people we are around everyday? Do we tell them we love them and that God loves them? Do we smile and make them feel cared about? Or do we ignore them like Cho Seung-Hui felt? I’m not passing blame for a sick man. But would a hug have made a difference?

Just a thought. What do you think?

I like the rest of our country was horrified by the tragic events at Virginia Tech.  I was moved by the stories of families who will forever be changed.  However I didn’t know anyone so I could only watch from afar.

We were warned about copycats and unfortunately they are occurring.  Yesterday one of our active members asked me and Debra our secretary if we had heard about the gun incident a West Mecklenberg High School?  It seems a young man was upset about his girlfriend breaking up with him.  He went to school with a gun and flashed it then sped away.  By the time the police got there he shot himself dead.  My first thought was he connected with our church.  No he wasn’t.

This morning I arrived at the Starbucks I go to every morning a little later than usual. (I’m writing from free wi-fi nearby)  The store was different than usual.   There were more partners working and I didn’t recognize most of them.  There are at least 5 people from Corporate.  One partner who knows me well told me that the reason there are so many people here is the young man who killed himself worked here!  Sigh….  I know him.  He has served me coffee.  In fact during Spring Break he was here everyday in the mornings.

I talked to one of the corporate people who sees me in here often.  I told him that I was a pastor and a trained chaplain (Marketplace Ministries for 5 years).  I know they have their own people but these people know me.  I’m hanging around a little longer to see if anyone needs to talk.  I’m sure it will be in the next weeks.

Please pray for the family of this young man, the students at West Meck High School(where many of our church members go), and the employees here at Starbucks.  They are pretty shook up.  I just want to be here if they need to talk.

I’ve tried to make a difference. I’ve tried to be a reformer. It isn’t going to happen. I will continue to write about my struggles with legalism. I will write about goofy stories. I will write about positive issues. I will write about things that move me. But I’m done with denomination politics. It is obvious that it is more important to some in my denomination to be more concerned about polity than abusers. Some would like to argue over Calvinism. I don’t care. Wasting money on chapels that aren’t needed. I got involved because my church members give significant amounts of our money but it seems to be waste, waste, waste.

I have a chance to go spend time with a pastor to learn from him this summer or go to the SBC convention. I will not be in San Antonio. I’m going to spend time with this pastor. I think my conference money will be better spent for me and my church to do this. It is obvious that I’m different and that isn’t going to change. So I’m done.

I started writing my book this week. I’ve been reading other people’s books and feel that God has given me a story from another point of view. I may be the only one who reads it. I will write here about struggles I deal with and enjoying life. So I’m joining my fellow Bama fan David Phillips and Alan Cross and dropping any denomination talk. (I’m not leaving the SBC –I just won’t mention it) I’m glad I met many great people last year in Greensboro. I’ve made some good friends through this medium. I will continue to their friends. But it is obvious that change won’t happen. For that reason I’m…

I was asked to read Tracy Elliott’s book Unbroken.  This was a book that I probably wouldn’t have bought on my own.  That would have been my loss.

Tracy’s story is amazing.  It is one of heartbreak, abuse, dysfunction but most importantly Grace–God’s Grace.  Tracy’s parents both died when she was young.  Her dad died first and that sent her mother into a life of drinking.  Actually she had been drinking a lot already but her mom died when Tracy was six years old because of her drinking.  Tracy then went to live with her 70 year old grandmother along with her two older brothers.   It is bad enough that she lost her parents but now she lives in a home with a grandmother who enabled her grown sons.

Tracy’s uncles were for the most part bums.  They rarely worked and when they did they wasted the money on booze.  They resented Tracy and her brother for living there yet these men were in their 30-40’s.   One of Tracy’s uncles began to sexually abuse her for about 3 or 4 years.  He took her innocence away.  As I read this book it really moved me.  I guess that is why I have been so angry about the “clergy” abuse issue that has been coming up lately.  I can’t imagine that someone could do something so horrible to another person.

It was during this time that Tracy went to a local Southern Baptist Church.  She actually asked Jesus to come live in her life.  But unfortunately the abuse didn’t stop.   That part was hard for me to swallow.  In fact it didn’t stop until she became a teenager and was able to move out.  Tracy must be a beautiful woman because she was a cheerleader and participated in beauty pageants.

Eventually she moved out of her abusive home and lived with a divorced lady from her church.  The only problem is this woman took Tracy partying with her.  Tracy began to use drugs and alcohol.  Her life began spiraling out of control.  She moved to Atlanta and started working as a stripper.  Then she moved to Dallas, TX and continued that career.

It was in a Dallas strip club that she met her future husband.  I don’t understand this but she says that God spoke to her while she was stripping and said she was to marry this man.  However, he was married.  I’m still working through that one.  Eventually he divorced his wife and she started dating this man and they moved in together and then got married.  She became pregnant within a month of their marriage.

Having children caused a range of emotions to creep into her life.  Within a few years she and her husband separated for a while but then got back together.  They got involved in a church and God blessed her husband’s business.  But she had another demon to get rid of.  She was addicted to pain pills.  She went through rehab and eventually witnessed to everyone in the rehab center–patients and staff. In the end she was crowned Mrs. Texas.   Her platform for the Mrs. America competition was “Better, not Bitter.”

The title of the book was about her life and a cabinet that somehow made it through the abuse in her grandmother’s home.  Her brother brought it out to her in Texas and she put it in her prayer room and has not refinished it to remind her of how she made it through “unbroken.”

Wow, what a story.  For me it is good to read stories like this because I was not exposed to this kind of hell.  I would recommend reading Unbroken.  I give it 4.5 hockey sticks out of 5.

 

[From Christian Post]

Pastors – perceived to be some of the most under-appreciated and on-demand workers in America – are actually the happiest and most satisfied in their jobs, a new study found. A survey by the University of Chicago found clergy as the top job for satisfaction among American workers; 87 percent of clergy reported being very satisfied. Firefighters (80 percent) and physical therapists (78 percent) were also the most satisfied in their profession.

“The most satisfying jobs are mostly professions, especially those involving caring for, teaching, and protecting others and creative pursuits,” said Tom W. Smith, director of the General Social Survey (GSS) at the National Opinion Research Center at the University of Chicago, in the report.

In addition to being the most satisified, clergy also out-ranked other American workers as being the happiest (67 percent). Behind clergy were firefighters and transportation ticket and reservation agents, with 57 percent reporting being very happy.

Read about it here.

[From me]

I would guess the reason is that those of us in vocational ministry see lives changed daily.   I know that is what gives me satisfaction.   When I see people come to faith in Christ, marriages repaired and lives transformed I get the biggest blessing.  What really get me excited is when I see other believers catching the vision of growing in their faith and telling their friends about it.  Man, I could go on.  God is good.

How about you?  What brings you satisfaction in your job or ministry?